Posted by Sanne November 14th 2018, 8:08am
Hello everyone!
Due to some recent events, I want to touch on two of the things we do in this group: asking for help and giving help.
This group's foundation is the community that sticks together and cares for one another, and I'm so very happy and privileged to be part of it! I've spent a significant amount of my time here to help people with their issues, even if it's just letting them know I heard them and they're cared for. I see basically every active member doing this regularly themselves, and I'm very proud of you all for that! It's so very important to be kind with one another and you're all absolute champions.
I recognize the tremendous emotional labor that goes into this, which is why part of our rules discourage outright dismissal of it. Unfortunately, this is something that does happen sometimes, and it can be hugely frustrating and at times really scary for the community. Please know that if you experience such a situation, you can reach out to the mods for help.
I want to extend a friendly reminder to everyone that when you share serious health concerns, people will worry about you and want you to get well, and dismissing their offers for help and their concerns but continuing to share your issues is not okay. It's a very stressful and hugely upsetting situation to be in for both sides with no useful outcome. Please try to accept the help and advice offered to you.
I understand that not every country has a working healthcare system that allows for diagnoses or treatments, and you will never be reprimanded for not having access to the care you want and are trying to obtain! However, an outright refusal to seek medical attention for no viable reason while sharing highly alarming symptoms with people who care about you is not acceptable.
Please be mindful that when you share in this group, it's expected that you try your best to participate in improving your well being. Trying your best can be as easy as acknowledging someone's thoughts and advice and actively trying out some suggestions that are within your means to try. Trying your best does not include pushing yourself to unsafe limits, or retorting to every single post or suggestion with "No/I can't".
Remember that we will always try our best to help you find out ways around any blocks you may experience that are preventing you from getting help. Many of our members would be more than happy to help you write letters to family/friends or medical professionals, find contact information for local health facilities, or even make phone calls with you or on your behalf (provided you have permission to share information about yourself if you're a minor). We are willing to sit down with you and make lists of things to try or figure out if we can find others with your experiences to get help from. We won't judge you and we won't push you to do things you don't want to do, I promise. Please take our help! It's not a burden and we're happy to do it. We don't want anyone to suffer needlessly, and we're here to give support when we can.
Due to some recent events, I want to touch on two of the things we do in this group: asking for help and giving help.
This group's foundation is the community that sticks together and cares for one another, and I'm so very happy and privileged to be part of it! I've spent a significant amount of my time here to help people with their issues, even if it's just letting them know I heard them and they're cared for. I see basically every active member doing this regularly themselves, and I'm very proud of you all for that! It's so very important to be kind with one another and you're all absolute champions.
I recognize the tremendous emotional labor that goes into this, which is why part of our rules discourage outright dismissal of it. Unfortunately, this is something that does happen sometimes, and it can be hugely frustrating and at times really scary for the community. Please know that if you experience such a situation, you can reach out to the mods for help.
I want to extend a friendly reminder to everyone that when you share serious health concerns, people will worry about you and want you to get well, and dismissing their offers for help and their concerns but continuing to share your issues is not okay. It's a very stressful and hugely upsetting situation to be in for both sides with no useful outcome. Please try to accept the help and advice offered to you.
I understand that not every country has a working healthcare system that allows for diagnoses or treatments, and you will never be reprimanded for not having access to the care you want and are trying to obtain! However, an outright refusal to seek medical attention for no viable reason while sharing highly alarming symptoms with people who care about you is not acceptable.
Please be mindful that when you share in this group, it's expected that you try your best to participate in improving your well being. Trying your best can be as easy as acknowledging someone's thoughts and advice and actively trying out some suggestions that are within your means to try. Trying your best does not include pushing yourself to unsafe limits, or retorting to every single post or suggestion with "No/I can't".
Remember that we will always try our best to help you find out ways around any blocks you may experience that are preventing you from getting help. Many of our members would be more than happy to help you write letters to family/friends or medical professionals, find contact information for local health facilities, or even make phone calls with you or on your behalf (provided you have permission to share information about yourself if you're a minor). We are willing to sit down with you and make lists of things to try or figure out if we can find others with your experiences to get help from. We won't judge you and we won't push you to do things you don't want to do, I promise. Please take our help! It's not a burden and we're happy to do it. We don't want anyone to suffer needlessly, and we're here to give support when we can.
Community Feedback
- Here here! I agree to this!
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It's not as subjective as it might seem although it would be difficult and possibly detrimental to attempt to fully define the criteria we look for. However, to be considered an offender, it takes consistently dismissing all efforts to the point of becoming a toxic presence that is causing distress to others as described. In such a case, we'll have also tried reaching out to the individual privately, possibly multiple times, before concluding that there just isn't anything this group can do to help the individual.
If the group cannot help them and they are causing others distress, then there is no value in them being here, and we can only hope that being removed will give them the necessary push to seek the care they need. -
All these issues are so tricky and subjective...I am glad that I don't have to moderate. It's difficult because there can't really be hard, objective, unchanging rules about when it's necessary to take someone's advice in order to prove you're accepting help and not being dismissive, versus when it's okay to not try someone's suggestion without having to explain why you're not going to try it (in order to not hurt another's feelings, or because some private issue not yet shared makes it impractical to do so). In short, things like this end up having to be a judgement call. I wouldn't be able to make them and so, for those who choose to moderate, I say you're like "The Man in the Arena" from Roosevelt's speech. Somebody has to make the decisions, and y'all are not afraid to do so.
Have a good day all. -
Everyone needs to read this this is amazing and important 🌟💫â„ï¸ðŸ‘
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This is a much needed and very important message, thanks Sanne
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ChaosRain16
November 16th 2018
10:35am