"I'm not soft-hearted!" Vel's reply was immediate and a bit defensive, as if he had accused her of a more egregious character flaw in the vein of being callous to kittens or skimming extra from the tip jar at the Luxe. Her ruffled feathers settled shortly, though, and she sighed.
"You keep talking about me like I'm...I don't know. I don't know how to take you acting like you'll ruin me, like there's something special you're tainting or something." Vel squirmed, uncomfortable, causing Pluto to huff in her lap. She settled for his sake. "I...Look, for, for me to be the way that I am, there always has to be someone else doing the violence to keep me safe. I get that. That's how we met. It doesn't make me better. It might make me worse."
"You keep talking about me like I'm...I don't know. I don't know how to take you acting like you'll ruin me, like there's something special you're tainting or something." Vel squirmed, uncomfortable, causing Pluto to huff in her lap. She settled for his sake. "I...Look, for, for me to be the way that I am, there always has to be someone else doing the violence to keep me safe. I get that. That's how we met. It doesn't make me better. It might make me worse."
Vel’s sudden indignation startled Max. He looked at her with concern as she elaborated, and then in confusion at her final point. How could that make her worse? She had something so few people got to keep in this city. Why was she acting like people protecting that was wrong?
“It’s not about better or worse. It’s about you getting to live a life with some measure of peace without you having to fight for your life. It’s about people like you not having to harden.” Maxilith sounded frustrated now, though not at Vel. There was a sort of resentment towards a personal experience, perhaps several, creeping through into his tone.
“Is it so wrong to want to offer someone else a life you couldn’t have?”
“It’s not about better or worse. It’s about you getting to live a life with some measure of peace without you having to fight for your life. It’s about people like you not having to harden.” Maxilith sounded frustrated now, though not at Vel. There was a sort of resentment towards a personal experience, perhaps several, creeping through into his tone.
“Is it so wrong to want to offer someone else a life you couldn’t have?”
"But the way you say it makes it sound like to do that, you have to, like, cut me out of your life." Vel was frustrated, too, and the pressure to just cave and let him have his way was mounting. Her chest felt squeezed like a vice. "Or, just a lot of it.
"...I don't know, Max. Maybe I think there's better choices out there for this than me, at least." It was so close to confession, but she couldn't bring herself to it. The fear was as strong as the guilt.
"...I don't know, Max. Maybe I think there's better choices out there for this than me, at least." It was so close to confession, but she couldn't bring herself to it. The fear was as strong as the guilt.
Why did the idea being kept out of this make Vel sound so sad? Maxilith found himself even more confused. She was already a part of his life. Since when did she want more than what they had? Of course, they’d let things stay locked the way they were for some time and hadn’t really left room for either party to voice any hope for change. Maybe it wasn’t fair to take that choice away from her.
“What exactly is it that you want, then?” Max asked, softening his tone to try and understand. “I know what you want for me but what do you want for you? Because I know you didn’t ask me to protect you.”
“What exactly is it that you want, then?” Max asked, softening his tone to try and understand. “I know what you want for me but what do you want for you? Because I know you didn’t ask me to protect you.”
What she wanted? Vel wanted to be able to live like herself. Celebrate her Vibe like everyone else on the island without immediately being the villain of a scary story. Not have to lie to someone who was putting himself on the line to protect her.
"I want to...be able to protect myself when there's no one else to help me." The explanation was halting, a struggle to find the right words. "Because..."
Don't.
"...Because, I've been alone before. And, like, maybe I should be. But. It's." Her throat felt like it was closing up. "I'm not making sense. I don't know."
"I want to...be able to protect myself when there's no one else to help me." The explanation was halting, a struggle to find the right words. "Because..."
Don't.
"...Because, I've been alone before. And, like, maybe I should be. But. It's." Her throat felt like it was closing up. "I'm not making sense. I don't know."
Somehow the tables had turned and somehow now Vel was the one locking up. Maxilith understood this maybe being a complicated question to answer, but having just come out of battling himself to give a difficult answer it was easy to see that she had some conflicting feelings. Of course he was curious about why, but he knew he couldn’t force those words to cooperate with her. Especially when she managed to voice a feeling he was all too familiar with.
“Vel, the reasons are definitely different, but I’ve been there…” Maxilith gave up and put the glass of water on the little table on his end of the couch. “By all rights, I should never have let you close. I an intimately familiar with isolating myself because I feel like I don’t deserve to be around good people, because of what I’ve done and what I am.”
Max rubbed the back of his neck a little nervously, not sure he was helping at all. “That is to say, whatever makes you feel like that, Vel? It would take a lot to scare me off. So long as you still want me around, I’ll stay.”
“Vel, the reasons are definitely different, but I’ve been there…” Maxilith gave up and put the glass of water on the little table on his end of the couch. “By all rights, I should never have let you close. I an intimately familiar with isolating myself because I feel like I don’t deserve to be around good people, because of what I’ve done and what I am.”
Max rubbed the back of his neck a little nervously, not sure he was helping at all. “That is to say, whatever makes you feel like that, Vel? It would take a lot to scare me off. So long as you still want me around, I’ll stay.”
The only thing keeping her from curling up into herself was Pluto snug in her lap. Max didn't know what he was saying, which was the point of it all. He could promise her anything and it could never truly be sincere because she'd kept him in the dark.
"I want you around." It was a quiet admission, avoiding the point of it all for the sake of clinging to what they had.
"I don't...like keeping things from you. I know it's hard for both of us to talk about. Things." What a depressingly inadequate way to say it.
Her mouth felt cottony, coated with apprehension, and a sip of water barely cleared it. She didn't tell people; they found out on accident. What was she doing?
"I, I get cravings, too. From my Vibe." It was the least helpful way to explain, but it was a start.
"I want you around." It was a quiet admission, avoiding the point of it all for the sake of clinging to what they had.
"I don't...like keeping things from you. I know it's hard for both of us to talk about. Things." What a depressingly inadequate way to say it.
Her mouth felt cottony, coated with apprehension, and a sip of water barely cleared it. She didn't tell people; they found out on accident. What was she doing?
"I, I get cravings, too. From my Vibe." It was the least helpful way to explain, but it was a start.
Maxilith figured Vel started with ‘I want you to stay’ because it was the easiest thing to say. He also wondered whether that would change if she ever found out what all he’d done did which… sounded like something she would eventually want to know, too. Or thinks she wants to know- no, that was a rude thing to think. Still, he was so sure that telling her would forever change the way she saw him that the idea of ever attempting to explain himself was hard to imagine.
But Vel didn’t linger on the idea of honesty in the way Max thought she might. He nodded his agreement at things being difficult to talk about, expecting she might cite it as a reason to ask him to wait for her to be ready to say anything. Instead she seemed to persevere, even if she did sort of sound like she wanted to disappear when she spoke.
“Cravings to…?” Max asked, trying to nudge her to continue explaining without sounding too pushy. Trying not to sound incredulous. After all, he’d kept his personal theory about her vibe to himself and if there was something to admit that made her this unsettled? Maybe his guess hadn’t been too far off the mark.
But Vel didn’t linger on the idea of honesty in the way Max thought she might. He nodded his agreement at things being difficult to talk about, expecting she might cite it as a reason to ask him to wait for her to be ready to say anything. Instead she seemed to persevere, even if she did sort of sound like she wanted to disappear when she spoke.
“Cravings to…?” Max asked, trying to nudge her to continue explaining without sounding too pushy. Trying not to sound incredulous. After all, he’d kept his personal theory about her vibe to himself and if there was something to admit that made her this unsettled? Maybe his guess hadn’t been too far off the mark.
"Use it." What a useless reply. The look she gave him was similar to how he'd first met her: scared and vulnerable, hoping he'd not be just another aggressor. She pulled Pluto a little closer to her chest so she could bring her legs up onto the couch, unable to resist the urge to get smaller.
"...I'm usually okay. If I don't have much Vibe. But after I do, all I want to do is...use it." It was her turn to avoid his gaze. "When the Flares happened, I hurt some people. I hurt myself, too. It took, took years to feel okay touching people again. Sometimes I'm still not okay."
It barely explained things. But it was an attempt. "I'm, like, I guess..."
The rambling was kicking in. "I want to help you but, but I need to use my Vibe in a throwdown or I'm no more helpful than, I guess, a jam deaf. And if I don't learn to be strong, stronger, you'll cut me out of parts of your life. But it's, it's not a good Vibe. So maybe I shouldn't even try. But then the cravings hit and they make me, like, stupid. And then it just, like, it blows up in my face and I can't keep getting lucky--"
She was working herself up, she knew. It was hard to stop.
"...I'm usually okay. If I don't have much Vibe. But after I do, all I want to do is...use it." It was her turn to avoid his gaze. "When the Flares happened, I hurt some people. I hurt myself, too. It took, took years to feel okay touching people again. Sometimes I'm still not okay."
It barely explained things. But it was an attempt. "I'm, like, I guess..."
The rambling was kicking in. "I want to help you but, but I need to use my Vibe in a throwdown or I'm no more helpful than, I guess, a jam deaf. And if I don't learn to be strong, stronger, you'll cut me out of parts of your life. But it's, it's not a good Vibe. So maybe I shouldn't even try. But then the cravings hit and they make me, like, stupid. And then it just, like, it blows up in my face and I can't keep getting lucky--"
She was working herself up, she knew. It was hard to stop.
When Vel started again, Max tried very hard not to operate under the assumption that his guesses about her vibe had been right. She didn't need to take vibe to have cravings to use her own. Still, the way she curled in on herself when she talk about how she'd hurt people before struck a chord with him. It reminded him of being that scared kid running from home- was that why Vel was here and not back in Orange? He wanted to hold her, give her some kind of reassurance, but touch...
“Vel…” Max put a hand on the couch next to her, gripping the cushion slightly as if to keep himself from reaching to invade her space further. ‘Think. What would you have needed to hear… had it not come from him?’
“This… it isn't your fault. You didn't choose your vibe. None of us did. None of us could control what happened during the Flares, either…” Max spoke thoughtfully, hoping he was coming off as reassuring and not dismissive. “...but if you reject your vibe you'll never learn how to keep it in check. You can't protect people from yourself by ignoring the problem.”
“I- I might not have the best skills for training a vibe like yours… but you want to be in my life and… I know what it's like to be the kid scared of the powers they just hurt their loved ones with because they didn't know better.” Max leaned closer to her, putting weight on the hand he wished was holding her's. “I want to help. We can figure this out so you don't have to rely on luck. I won't shut you you out if you don't shut *me* out, okay?”
“Vel…” Max put a hand on the couch next to her, gripping the cushion slightly as if to keep himself from reaching to invade her space further. ‘Think. What would you have needed to hear… had it not come from him?’
“This… it isn't your fault. You didn't choose your vibe. None of us did. None of us could control what happened during the Flares, either…” Max spoke thoughtfully, hoping he was coming off as reassuring and not dismissive. “...but if you reject your vibe you'll never learn how to keep it in check. You can't protect people from yourself by ignoring the problem.”
“I- I might not have the best skills for training a vibe like yours… but you want to be in my life and… I know what it's like to be the kid scared of the powers they just hurt their loved ones with because they didn't know better.” Max leaned closer to her, putting weight on the hand he wished was holding her's. “I want to help. We can figure this out so you don't have to rely on luck. I won't shut you you out if you don't shut *me* out, okay?”
It wasn't the censure she expected, instead the couch dipping as Max leaned closer. A vibe like yours he said, and to Vel he still didn't understand what it really was, because neither of them would say it out loud. She was still a liar, and he would second guess comforting her if he did, for sure.
Lying was exhausting, though. Dancing around it, trying to explain without giving it away while secretly hoping he'd come to the right conclusionnot knowing he already had, that she'd never fooled him and that was almost more dangerous drained her after the night they'd had.
"Okay." Vel's hand retreated into her sleeve before she set it on top of his. She had no vibe at the moment, no cravings, nothing that would hurt him, and he had no vibe to take, either. But skin to skin would be painful, regardless, if only just for her.
"I'm sorry," she tried again. "I lie to you a lot. About stupid things, about my Vibe, too. I don't want to shut you out, but...but there might come a time where, like...being around me is bad for you."
WHY IS THIS SO HARD? JUST TELL HIM!
"...I leech vibe. I don't suppress it." She had to look at him and see his face, but her nerve failed her and she stared at their hands instead.
Lying was exhausting, though. Dancing around it, trying to explain without giving it away while secretly hoping he'd come to the right conclusion
"Okay." Vel's hand retreated into her sleeve before she set it on top of his. She had no vibe at the moment, no cravings, nothing that would hurt him, and he had no vibe to take, either. But skin to skin would be painful, regardless, if only just for her.
"I'm sorry," she tried again. "I lie to you a lot. About stupid things, about my Vibe, too. I don't want to shut you out, but...but there might come a time where, like...being around me is bad for you."
WHY IS THIS SO HARD? JUST TELL HIM!
"...I leech vibe. I don't suppress it." She had to look at him and see his face, but her nerve failed her and she stared at their hands instead.
Max was glad when Vel found a way to answer his gesture. He released his grip on the couch to hold her hand more properly. After listening to her apology, he was about to start on how they'd both hidden things and that he understood, but then she added that last admission. That confirmation of his suspicions. He didn't try to feign surprise, but instead gave Vel's hand a gentle squeeze as if to thank her for her honesty.
“I can see how that complicates the whole craving thing,” Max gave her an understanding look, not a trace of fear present. She may have been lying all this time, but her guilt made it clear that she'd never been doing it out of malice.
“Still, that doesn't change my stance on things. We can work on improving things together- your vibe and our honesty issues both.”Part of wanted to lift their hands to kiss the back of hers, but what if that wasn't what she meant by wanting to be a bigger part of his life? He instead raised an eyebrow and gave her a very gentle tease, “We can both stick around and be bad for each other, since that's what you seem to want so badly.”
“I can see how that complicates the whole craving thing,” Max gave her an understanding look, not a trace of fear present. She may have been lying all this time, but her guilt made it clear that she'd never been doing it out of malice.
“Still, that doesn't change my stance on things. We can work on improving things together- your vibe and our honesty issues both.”
It was strange how easily he accepted it. Had he just known the whole time? That was a new anxiety, that she wasn't lying well enough to pass off her Vibe to the few who knew about it. But if she thought about that too much now, she might spiral, and they were making progress...
But with his acceptance there was also a little less pressure on her chest, and she could lift her head to look at him. He was the third person to find out, and the first person she'd told on purpose, and he was still here. Maybe she was assuming the worst of too many people.
Slowly, slowly a little smile reappeared. It was hard to hold, weak from doubt, but fond all the same. "Okay. I...you know that's what I'm most worried about, right? That I'll be bad for you. That...if I get more in tune with my Vibe, it'll go wrong somehow. Or people will find out, and they'll blame the people around me for helping me. Are you really, like, okay with that?"
But with his acceptance there was also a little less pressure on her chest, and she could lift her head to look at him. He was the third person to find out, and the first person she'd told on purpose, and he was still here. Maybe she was assuming the worst of too many people.
Slowly, slowly a little smile reappeared. It was hard to hold, weak from doubt, but fond all the same. "Okay. I...you know that's what I'm most worried about, right? That I'll be bad for you. That...if I get more in tune with my Vibe, it'll go wrong somehow. Or people will find out, and they'll blame the people around me for helping me. Are you really, like, okay with that?"
Vel seemed like she was beginning to calm down just a little! Good. Max felt some relief at that.
"By all rights, both factions should want me dead already anyways. Don't see any harm in adding this to my list of transgressions." Max nodded at her slightly, then shrugged, "There are far worse things to accuse me of than helping someone like you."
Having decompressed a little, Maxilith leaned back against of the couch again. "And if you're worried about hurting me then at least you know I can take a beating. I'll be fine."
"By all rights, both factions should want me dead already anyways. Don't see any harm in adding this to my list of transgressions." Max nodded at her slightly, then shrugged, "There are far worse things to accuse me of than helping someone like you."
Having decompressed a little, Maxilith leaned back against of the couch again. "And if you're worried about hurting me then at least you know I can take a beating. I'll be fine."
"What if...it turns out I'm as bad as..." This was something that concerned her the most, and it was hard to let him be so relaxed about it. "What if I make you jamdeaf? I couldn't do it right now, but...but if I learn how to use my Vibe, and I get better at it, and that's...that's where it goes?
"Shouldn't you be scared of that?"
"Shouldn't you be scared of that?"
Max shrugged again, but took on a bit of a far of look. "The way I see it, V-Day was the start of all my problems. I wouldn't be sad to see my vibe gone. No more drive to fight... maybe I could become someone who wouldn't need to fight after all."
Of course, Max wasn't sure exactly how true 'not fighting ' would be. He'd still have people worth protecting, after all. But he opened a lot of fights pretty much vibeless and figured he could adapt to some degree so long as he ditched the Pit. And if he ended up vibeless, there'd be no reason to keep that up.
Of course, Max wasn't sure exactly how true 'not fighting ' would be. He'd still have people worth protecting, after all. But he opened a lot of fights pretty much vibeless and figured he could adapt to some degree so long as he ditched the Pit. And if he ended up vibeless, there'd be no reason to keep that up.
"You just said both factions want you dead. I think being jamdeaf would make that worse for you." There was still a lot he wasn't telling her, but maybe they'd get there. Or maybe it was enough revelations for the night.
"But... whatever happens, I'll stick with you. And try to make it right. You know," she had to laugh, the other options being too much, "if I turn out to really be that kind of monster."
"But... whatever happens, I'll stick with you. And try to make it right. You know," she had to laugh, the other options being too much, "if I turn out to really be that kind of monster."
"It's been a long time since anyone bothered me, so I figure if I kept my head low enough it wouldn't matter whether I have a vibe or not. Hell, maybe if I lost my vibe they'd write me off as harmless and I could just live." Max waved the concerns off with his free hand then stifled a yawn. The fatigue from the poison and then the Vendy treatment were really beginning to set in now that he was getting comfortable. At her last statement, he rolled his head to look at Vel with incredulity.
"We'll make sure you're equipped to handle that, sure, but I don't think I could call you a monster even if you ended up being able to completely rob someone of their vibe." He lifted the hand holding hers, and without breaking the hold, gestured towards her chest. "Not if you can hold onto a heart like that."
"We'll make sure you're equipped to handle that, sure, but I don't think I could call you a monster even if you ended up being able to completely rob someone of their vibe." He lifted the hand holding hers, and without breaking the hold, gestured towards her chest. "Not if you can hold onto a heart like that."
"I know a lot of people who would argue with you," she grumbled, attempting not to yawn as he did. They were both flagging.
The idea of Max being harmless meaning he'd be allowed to 'just live' felt far too optimistic. Nobody on the Island got to escape the conflict and trouble.
"My little liar's heart will do its best. I have a lot to make up for. But, like, since you're still willing to help me after all this, I guess it's not so bad. And I'll have to learn to protect you, just in case." She wished she could lace her fingers with his without feeling her skin crawl. Maybe in the morning.
"...Would you stay tonight? I promise, the sheets are clean." It was a joke that felt a little flat, but there was still a small fear that he was saying all the right things just so he could walk out of her life unscathed. She would do that to anyone else who scared her.
The idea of Max being harmless meaning he'd be allowed to 'just live' felt far too optimistic. Nobody on the Island got to escape the conflict and trouble.
"My little liar's heart will do its best. I have a lot to make up for. But, like, since you're still willing to help me after all this, I guess it's not so bad. And I'll have to learn to protect you, just in case." She wished she could lace her fingers with his without feeling her skin crawl. Maybe in the morning.
"...Would you stay tonight? I promise, the sheets are clean." It was a joke that felt a little flat, but there was still a small fear that he was saying all the right things just so he could walk out of her life unscathed. She would do that to anyone else who scared her.
"I'll put some thought into how we can step up our lessons, and in the meantime I'll look for someone to back me up so you don't have to worry so much." Maxilith gave Vel a tired smirk. Just because he'd relented enough to be willing to include her didn't mean he thought she was ready. "I'm not shutting you out I just want to be sure you’re more ready to defend yourself, alright? We'll work up to it."
Max gave Vel's hand one more squeeze before letting go and sitting up to stretch a bit. He made no move to get up, however, and just flashed a tired smile in Vel's direction.
"Yeah, I'll stay. I won't even fight you on sleeping arrangements."
Max gave Vel's hand one more squeeze before letting go and sitting up to stretch a bit. He made no move to get up, however, and just flashed a tired smile in Vel's direction.
"Yeah, I'll stay. I won't even fight you on sleeping arrangements."
Moderators: AJ_89 Steven (played by Robo-Craig) QnQ Hide Miyagawa (played by Monoclejack)
