quick question for you...
your first post...
I am looking for timelines here...
are you starting...
1. just immediately after Pentre has just claimed the lands of Forheri but not yet banished Jals? -- in which case Pentre is coming to collect him to make him stand trial and have him banished --
2. Pentre has already taken the lands of Forheri, banished Jals and Jals just now returned?
3. Pentre took the lands of Forheri, had Jals exiled, had him return, appointed him a blacksmith and this is just another random day?
4. Pentre has not yet taken the lands.... he is coming to bring Jals to justice in order to steal the lands and have him vanquished??
your first post...
Jalsinter Forheri wrote:
Jalsinter's Shop
Jalsinter sat before a worktable untidily covered by tools and newly-finished pieces of jewelry. Though it was noon a thick blanket of clouds blocked the sky outside, and rainfall battered the goldsmith's roof the entire day. Idly he stood to approach the front window, pushing away its curtain to peer through the foggy glass.
Most folk didn't wander the streets on days like these, lest they tempt illness and criminals to find them. He did spot a few people darting to and fro, likely to complete inevitable errands and get out of the downpour as soon as possible. So it was easy for him to notice further down the street a group of men on horseback were coming.
Jalsinter squinted; he recognized those men, their coat of arms and the one who lead them. Quietly he withdrew into the workshop and stowed his finished pieces away before walking into his bedroom-- a humble place for a knight to sleep by any standards-- and collected his weapon, its sheath and a belt.
In a minute he was back in the workshop, sword on his belt and grim thoughts on his mind. Pentre was a harsh and unreasonable man who had his eye on the Forheri lands for years. Even now, once he'd claimed them, the man kept his newfound vassal under a tight leash. Jalsinter did not look forward to speaking with him on that day, no matter what the lord had come to talk about.
Still, he did wonder what Pentre wanted, or if he even intended to stop at his home.
Jalsinter sat before a worktable untidily covered by tools and newly-finished pieces of jewelry. Though it was noon a thick blanket of clouds blocked the sky outside, and rainfall battered the goldsmith's roof the entire day. Idly he stood to approach the front window, pushing away its curtain to peer through the foggy glass.
Most folk didn't wander the streets on days like these, lest they tempt illness and criminals to find them. He did spot a few people darting to and fro, likely to complete inevitable errands and get out of the downpour as soon as possible. So it was easy for him to notice further down the street a group of men on horseback were coming.
Jalsinter squinted; he recognized those men, their coat of arms and the one who lead them. Quietly he withdrew into the workshop and stowed his finished pieces away before walking into his bedroom-- a humble place for a knight to sleep by any standards-- and collected his weapon, its sheath and a belt.
In a minute he was back in the workshop, sword on his belt and grim thoughts on his mind. Pentre was a harsh and unreasonable man who had his eye on the Forheri lands for years. Even now, once he'd claimed them, the man kept his newfound vassal under a tight leash. Jalsinter did not look forward to speaking with him on that day, no matter what the lord had come to talk about.
Still, he did wonder what Pentre wanted, or if he even intended to stop at his home.
I am looking for timelines here...
are you starting...
1. just immediately after Pentre has just claimed the lands of Forheri but not yet banished Jals? -- in which case Pentre is coming to collect him to make him stand trial and have him banished --
2. Pentre has already taken the lands of Forheri, banished Jals and Jals just now returned?
3. Pentre took the lands of Forheri, had Jals exiled, had him return, appointed him a blacksmith and this is just another random day?
4. Pentre has not yet taken the lands.... he is coming to bring Jals to justice in order to steal the lands and have him vanquished??
Number three. If Jal was pre banishment he wouldn't have opened the shop yet.
what surviving relatives would Jals have excluding the girlfriend?
I am picturing the scene as follows.
Jals father has just been dishonorably dismissed from the army and the royal entourage, on account of Pentre, clearing the way for Pentre to become lord knight - Jarl's father's job - and take on the lands for himself too
Jals, as a knight in the lord's service, was expected to stay at the fortress but he decided not to stay at the castle. He was now sleeping at the blacksmith's workshop instead, working there part time (between trainings and joustings) in order to support his family - mum, dad, sister - who just lost the title and lands... everything
and here comes Pentre to add insult to injury, take their honest hard work, earnings and winnings in the form of tax collections and tributes, simply because all is his and he can.
This makes Jals angry and when he refuses to hand the gold / jewels over, the family is taken prisoner and Jals banished for a time into a life of errand, looking on as the workshop is sealed off and boarded up and those relatives chained and locked away
... because Pentre... is intrinsically evil
what's your thoughts on this take?
I am picturing the scene as follows.
Jals father has just been dishonorably dismissed from the army and the royal entourage, on account of Pentre, clearing the way for Pentre to become lord knight - Jarl's father's job - and take on the lands for himself too
Jals, as a knight in the lord's service, was expected to stay at the fortress but he decided not to stay at the castle. He was now sleeping at the blacksmith's workshop instead, working there part time (between trainings and joustings) in order to support his family - mum, dad, sister - who just lost the title and lands... everything
and here comes Pentre to add insult to injury, take their honest hard work, earnings and winnings in the form of tax collections and tributes, simply because all is his and he can.
This makes Jals angry and when he refuses to hand the gold / jewels over, the family is taken prisoner and Jals banished for a time into a life of errand, looking on as the workshop is sealed off and boarded up and those relatives chained and locked away
... because Pentre... is intrinsically evil
what's your thoughts on this take?
Jal's brothers survived. It is possible his father did also but in the canon story for him his father and mother are dead. Its a small detail ofc so it can be changed based on story.
Alterigos-- Jalsinter's older brother-- is extremely elusive so its unlikely Pentre caught him. Jal has a younger brother, coincidentally named Atoli (yes, the same way as Atoli the harpy) who is more hapless and could have been taken.
I could see it going that was pretty easily. Jal's usually a pretty reserved guy but having lost so much it would he hard not to lash out.
Alterigos-- Jalsinter's older brother-- is extremely elusive so its unlikely Pentre caught him. Jal has a younger brother, coincidentally named Atoli (yes, the same way as Atoli the harpy) who is more hapless and could have been taken.
I could see it going that was pretty easily. Jal's usually a pretty reserved guy but having lost so much it would he hard not to lash out.
iltheyn wrote:
Jal's brothers survived. It is possible his father did also but in the canon story for him his father and mother are dead. Its a small detail ofc so it can be changed based on story.
Alterigos-- Jalsinter's older brother-- is extremely elusive so its unlikely Pentre caught him. Jal has a younger brother, coincidentally named Atoli (yes, the same way as Atoli the harpy) who is more hapless and could have been taken.
I could see it going that was pretty easily. Jal's usually a pretty reserved guy but having lost so much it would he hard not to lash out.
Alterigos-- Jalsinter's older brother-- is extremely elusive so its unlikely Pentre caught him. Jal has a younger brother, coincidentally named Atoli (yes, the same way as Atoli the harpy) who is more hapless and could have been taken.
I could see it going that was pretty easily. Jal's usually a pretty reserved guy but having lost so much it would he hard not to lash out.
Gosh this is just perfect
Pentre publicly accusing Alterigos of murdering daddy out of greed in order to get hands on the family wealth and status and position... and of course, murderers are elusive... he is elusive... thus must be the culprit/murderer
This tarnishes the whole family with the dirty brush of "murder" making them unsuited to be lords of the realm, trusted with any lands and titles. Dishonor and shame falls upon the family
Gossip spreads quickly, lands are taken from Jals family and given to Pentre along with the position as lord knight
When coming to bully little brother atoli at his blacksmith workshop where Jals is working part time and living there for support...the whole thing explodes and atoli is taken as surety to ensure Jals complies
would that fit the bill better?
Yeah! Sounds good! Atoli is an easy person to imprison and demonize as well, since he's very attached to his hounds (most of which died during the tragedy.) It makes him seem socially inept. Dirty, even. Like a commoner, though he has the vocabulary of a noble.
iltheyn wrote:
Jal's brothers survived. It is possible his father did also but in the canon story for him his father and mother are dead. Its a small detail ofc so it can be changed based on story.
Alterigos-- Jalsinter's older brother-- is extremely elusive so its unlikely Pentre caught him. Jal has a younger brother, coincidentally named Atoli (yes, the same way as Atoli the harpy) who is more hapless and could have been taken.
I could see it going that was pretty easily. Jal's usually a pretty reserved guy but having lost so much it would he hard not to lash out.
Alterigos-- Jalsinter's older brother-- is extremely elusive so its unlikely Pentre caught him. Jal has a younger brother, coincidentally named Atoli (yes, the same way as Atoli the harpy) who is more hapless and could have been taken.
I could see it going that was pretty easily. Jal's usually a pretty reserved guy but having lost so much it would he hard not to lash out.
:o Oh dang! 2 Atoli's! :V I'll be following this story fo'sho!