Okay, so, I have a new subplot that I like, but I need to iron it out so it's feasible. I'll go over some of the backstory.
With that said! Here is the plot as it is currently. Ordney comes across this guy named Rinnold, whose father controls the local province. Rinnold claims that the neighboring Lady Bolinne has been aggressing a lot, trying to push the border between the provinces in her favor. Ordney wants to help and sends a messenger to Bolinne, but only the messenger's head returns, with a note along the lines of "we will not negotiate." Ivian senses foul play and reads Rinnold's mind (kinda) and determines that Rinnold's men killed the messenger to incriminate Bolinne. But remember that magic is taboo, so he can't come out and say it, but he tries to get Ordney to reconsider. She doesn't, so Oberlan sends Ivian to Bolinne to tell her what's going on. He does so, but it turns out that Bolinne is ALSO A SHITTY PERSON and holds Ivian in her dungeon, thinking him to be a spy for Rinnold. She interrogates him. Ivian's crow buddy pulls a Lassie, Oberlan realizes Ivian is in danger, and prepares to launch a rescue. Ordney, sensing what may be her last chance for knighthood slipping through her fingers, mobilizes her dudes and goes to rescue Ivian first.
So, there are some problems:
1) I can't figure out why Oberlan would send his lover and personal bodyguard on a mission like this instead of a small group of his soldiers.
2) Ordney likes and trusts Oberlan, so idk how realistic it is for her to ignore him (she is desperate for this quest, though). Could Rinnold somehow sow mistrust? How?
The plot can be kajiggered pretty majorly, so if anyone has any ideas at ALL, even incomplete ones, pleeeeease holla.
backstory dump
Oberlan is a powerful lord. Ordney is technically his squire, but is an equally powerful lady, and is in love with him. Ivian is Oberlan's bodyguard and they both have secret magic and are "secret" lovers too. Ordney has found out her father has arranged her marriage to be in X months and she is pissed, and is deadset on becoming knighted before that happens. So she goes out in search of a knightworthy quest with Oberlan there to vouch for her. Ordney has a small group of loyal men-at-arms, while Oberlan has a contingent of 50ish common soldiers. Ordney is very proud, but it'd just make no sense for them to have no soldiers, given how important they are. They quest into the east, into a poorer area where people are struggling to get by.
With that said! Here is the plot as it is currently. Ordney comes across this guy named Rinnold, whose father controls the local province. Rinnold claims that the neighboring Lady Bolinne has been aggressing a lot, trying to push the border between the provinces in her favor. Ordney wants to help and sends a messenger to Bolinne, but only the messenger's head returns, with a note along the lines of "we will not negotiate." Ivian senses foul play and reads Rinnold's mind (kinda) and determines that Rinnold's men killed the messenger to incriminate Bolinne. But remember that magic is taboo, so he can't come out and say it, but he tries to get Ordney to reconsider. She doesn't, so Oberlan sends Ivian to Bolinne to tell her what's going on. He does so, but it turns out that Bolinne is ALSO A SHITTY PERSON and holds Ivian in her dungeon, thinking him to be a spy for Rinnold. She interrogates him. Ivian's crow buddy pulls a Lassie, Oberlan realizes Ivian is in danger, and prepares to launch a rescue. Ordney, sensing what may be her last chance for knighthood slipping through her fingers, mobilizes her dudes and goes to rescue Ivian first.
So, there are some problems:
1) I can't figure out why Oberlan would send his lover and personal bodyguard on a mission like this instead of a small group of his soldiers.
2) Ordney likes and trusts Oberlan, so idk how realistic it is for her to ignore him (she is desperate for this quest, though). Could Rinnold somehow sow mistrust? How?
The plot can be kajiggered pretty majorly, so if anyone has any ideas at ALL, even incomplete ones, pleeeeease holla.
A POTENTIAL fix, that causes its own problems.
What if Ordney actually listens when Oberlan and Ivian voice their suspicions? She isn't at all convinced, but she would go to Bolinne herself to get to the bottom of it. She refuses the assistance of Oberlan's soldiers, though she definitely would still take her honor guard. Oberlan insists on Ivian accompanying her and tasks him with her safety. Ivian, with his ability to read minds (kinda), is also useful to have along for determining intention. Ordney doesn't know about his magic of course, but still knows him to be a good judge of character. While Ordney/her dudes/Ivian head for Bolinne, they're waylaid by a gaggle of her swordy dudes. Ivian probably thinks they're Rinnold's dudes in disguise, but they are actually Bolinne's. Rinnold has been nipping their heels to cause this conflict, which Ordney is trying to talk her way out of. Rinnold's guys begin shooting at both parties and a fight breaks out. Ivian reads enough minds to be able to piece together what's going on, and gets split away from Ordney, so he continues on to Bolinne's hall to try to clear the air and get her to withdraw her dudes. (Maybe he tries to tell Ordney and she refuses to listen because she feels hella besmirched???)
I'm not sure if this is a solid enough plan on Rinnold's part. His hope is that after this skirmish (which he doesn't anticipate being very lethal) both Ordney and Bolinne will be pissed and ready to throw diplomacy out the window. He's not stupid, but he also isn't brilliant, and he knows he's playing with fire. He's desperate and a risktaker. Maybe he has a backup plan of just getting the hell out of dodge if things go south.
What if Ordney actually listens when Oberlan and Ivian voice their suspicions? She isn't at all convinced, but she would go to Bolinne herself to get to the bottom of it. She refuses the assistance of Oberlan's soldiers, though she definitely would still take her honor guard. Oberlan insists on Ivian accompanying her and tasks him with her safety. Ivian, with his ability to read minds (kinda), is also useful to have along for determining intention. Ordney doesn't know about his magic of course, but still knows him to be a good judge of character. While Ordney/her dudes/Ivian head for Bolinne, they're waylaid by a gaggle of her swordy dudes. Ivian probably thinks they're Rinnold's dudes in disguise, but they are actually Bolinne's. Rinnold has been nipping their heels to cause this conflict, which Ordney is trying to talk her way out of. Rinnold's guys begin shooting at both parties and a fight breaks out. Ivian reads enough minds to be able to piece together what's going on, and gets split away from Ordney, so he continues on to Bolinne's hall to try to clear the air and get her to withdraw her dudes. (Maybe he tries to tell Ordney and she refuses to listen because she feels hella besmirched???)
I'm not sure if this is a solid enough plan on Rinnold's part. His hope is that after this skirmish (which he doesn't anticipate being very lethal) both Ordney and Bolinne will be pissed and ready to throw diplomacy out the window. He's not stupid, but he also isn't brilliant, and he knows he's playing with fire. He's desperate and a risktaker. Maybe he has a backup plan of just getting the hell out of dodge if things go south.
I think your potential fix sounds pretty good! Conflict causes chaos, and the skirmish could really sour things up as you mentioned. Maybe Ivian's the only one that can get away (or the only one trusted enough to be sent to get this crap to stop)? That can also cause tension when Ivian, who was only going to help stop the skirmish/bloodshed/fighting, gets captured and taken prisoner.
Ordney all "wtf you take my favorite person we were just trying to stop from getting killed". Also cause drama for poor Oberlan when he finds out.
I personally think you found a pretty good solution! Yay Heim!
Ordney all "wtf you take my favorite person we were just trying to stop from getting killed". Also cause drama for poor Oberlan when he finds out.
I personally think you found a pretty good solution! Yay Heim!
So for the first post without the revision, what if Oberlan realizes that Rinnold is likely to be sending a strike group against Ordney--like he's been hanging around and he's been trying to gain Ordney's favour, and Oberlan thinks/knows that he's got aims to start a conflagration even if Ordney seems inclined to his favour but wants to check with Bolinne to see what up. Like regardless of if Ordney agrees with Oberlan or not, Rinnold is still going to find any way he can to show in no uncertain terms that Bolinne is The Worst so he'd probably be looking for opportunities to stage an attack under her name.
1) Oberlan sends Ivian ahead, secretly, so that Rinnold and his men cannot know. He's leery of Ordney's champing at the bit, and since this is her first mission, he wants a 'control group' to determine what is really going on. Carry on with the plot of the first post.
2) Ordney decides that while she isn't entirely convinced of the messenger's head being Rinnold's fault (and how do the men in her party know this??? Is it a hunch? Rinnold seems like a hot-head but she can understand where he's coming from with this kind of behaviour???) and she and Oberlan argue, splitting off in the end to interrogate Bolinne. Cue some of the events in post 2 where Rinnold attempts to lay no uncertainty on Ordney that Bolinne's a huge murderous bitch.
3) Oberlan is doing what in this time? Perhaps he's uncovered that Rinnold's men are amassing, and is using his soldiers to keep the peace and gather intelligence? Do some of them find out that Rinnold and a posse are missing and he either has to swoop in to save Ordney or he has to stop himself because she's trying to prove herself a knight? What are the benefits and detriments of that path?
What happens to Ordney when the clash between Rinnold, Bolinne, and her honour guard are finished? Are Rinnold's men finished off and Rinnold dragged along with Ordney and her remaining guard to Bolinne's place? Is Rinnold tossed in the slammer with Ivian so he can have an 'I told you so' moment with the body guard? And what peril does that leave Ordney in if she's brought into this snake den by herself--or if Oberlan decides to 'save' her and joins her party?
1) Oberlan sends Ivian ahead, secretly, so that Rinnold and his men cannot know. He's leery of Ordney's champing at the bit, and since this is her first mission, he wants a 'control group' to determine what is really going on. Carry on with the plot of the first post.
2) Ordney decides that while she isn't entirely convinced of the messenger's head being Rinnold's fault (and how do the men in her party know this??? Is it a hunch? Rinnold seems like a hot-head but she can understand where he's coming from with this kind of behaviour???) and she and Oberlan argue, splitting off in the end to interrogate Bolinne. Cue some of the events in post 2 where Rinnold attempts to lay no uncertainty on Ordney that Bolinne's a huge murderous bitch.
3) Oberlan is doing what in this time? Perhaps he's uncovered that Rinnold's men are amassing, and is using his soldiers to keep the peace and gather intelligence? Do some of them find out that Rinnold and a posse are missing and he either has to swoop in to save Ordney or he has to stop himself because she's trying to prove herself a knight? What are the benefits and detriments of that path?
What happens to Ordney when the clash between Rinnold, Bolinne, and her honour guard are finished? Are Rinnold's men finished off and Rinnold dragged along with Ordney and her remaining guard to Bolinne's place? Is Rinnold tossed in the slammer with Ivian so he can have an 'I told you so' moment with the body guard? And what peril does that leave Ordney in if she's brought into this snake den by herself--or if Oberlan decides to 'save' her and joins her party?
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