Vigil's Keep

The library was quiet most of the time, save for the librarian. There was only one, and even then, he wasn't around half the time. There was too many things to do and the books were not exactly that important as compared to defences and darkspawn. Only the scholars and mages frequented it and the lesser used areas were dusty.

Javier had been told to meet Selora here and the boy had gotten there early to pour through books on... you guessed it, birds.

Or rather, he was penning down more details on some of the species they had come across on their latest expedition. He seemed well rested at least, and out of his armour.

Lucius was excused from library duty; Selora didn't need the brooding warrior standing over her shoulder, guarding her from drafts and dusty books. The man hadn't argued it either, simply accepted it. He enjoyed training with the Wardens, she knew, and in another life Lucius may have even become a Warden himself. He had talent, skill... though he also had ambition which could conflict with the Order's goals. Nonetheless, that wasn't Selora's problem, the Venatori spellbooks were.

"You look to be recovering well." She greeted Javier as she entered the room, dressed in a far more casual set of mage robes than the more formal attire she often favored. "Thank you for volunteering to help."

She smiled when she saw the books on birds.

"You know, I have heard of magic which allows a person to change their shape. To actually become a bird."

Jeram would have welcomed a training with Lucius. There were quite a few recruits who needed shaping up anyway.

Javier glanced up when Selora came in.

“I’d like to say I volunteered but the truth was I was volunteered by the Commander for this assignment. Not that I’m complaining. Gives me some time to spend on my bird books,” he said with a smile.

“One day I’m going to publish a whole directory on the different kinds of birds around Thedas.”

The rogue looked surprised when Selora mentioned shapeshfting magic. “Part of me wishes I could. The other half knows I’ll probably be shot down for food by someone... but I do dream of flying, soaring through the skies. I often wonder what do they see and say.”

"It could have been worse. Stable duty?" Selora smiled. "As you say, time to spend with your books. If you do publish a directory, I'll be sure to get one."

The elf didn't possess the human's passion for avian life but she respected it was his interest. Birds were useful, very often. They could fly and carry messages. Via magic, they could be used as spies even. Selora had a seat at the bench across the table from him, putting the Venatori tomes on top of the surface.

"Fly higher than the arrows can hit you." She shrugged. "Or take the form of a non-food bird."

No one ate owls that she knew of.

"I lack the ability to make you a bird. I do have a modicum of talent with dreaming, however. If you'd like, I could seek you out in the Veil one night. Perhaps nudge your dreams to let you be a bird in them."

Javier made a face when she mentioned stable duty.

"Not exactly my favourite kind of duty, but necessary. Alvin usually puts me in charge of breaking in the horses or walking them, rather than mucking things out. Mucking the stable is easy but handling the horses, that's a lot trickier and I have enough... horse sense, according to the stable master, not to get kicked in the head. And thank you for the vouch of confidence Selora," he said bowing his head slightly as he blushed. It was nice to have his passion recognised.

The idea of turning into an eagle was tempting to the boy and he thought about it for a moment before she mentioned visiting him in his dreams. Javier gave her an odd smile at that, one which said he wasn't too keen about it.

"Perhaps... although do be careful in my dreams if you visit... being a grey warden does not grant one with peaceful sleep half the time," he said with a sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair. The young warden finished up his page, closing it before glancing over to the bunch of spellbooks.

"I'm only fluent in the Trade tongue I'm afraid, and I do not understand anything about magic." Showing him equations would be useless. There was a brief pause. "But I did take a class on Dalish culture... and some basic... Tevene... mind you I can't speak it properly, but I can pick up some of the meanings."

The books they had recovered was written in Tevene and the Trade tongue. The magister it had belonged to had some pretty good education and he enjoyed switching between them fluently. Talking to him must have been hell with his code switching, although he used it more to describe the artefact they had found.

A halla statue that was revered by the Dalish with elvish inscriptions. From the looks of it, the magister had suspected it was a key because of its carvings, but it could just be due to weathering as well. A magical analysis had revealed that it was under an old protection spell that he was unable to undo. Javier of course, could not understand the magical part... nor the elvish inscriptions.

His words may have said 'yes' but his face indicated Javier wasn't the most comfortable with the idea. Selora could have intruded without asking but there was a chance he'd remember her in the dream. It could also be dangerous... as mages attracted attention from demons, she risked bringing Javier to their attention as well if she did so. It was usually harmless but the most talented dreamers could even kill their enemies in their sleep.

"Perhaps in the future then if you become more comfortable with the idea." Selora said. "Bad dreams I can take. When you're a mage, you get used to never letting your guard down. Not even when you sleep. Especially when you sleep."

She shrugged her slim shoulders.

"The demons in the Fade are always waiting for us to lower our guard. To give them a toehold in. Magic is a gift but one with a heavy price. Eternal vigilance, until the day we die. Of course, the Chantry usually insists we're all maleficar or abominations waiting to happen. Still, I'd wager far more people in the history of Thedas have been killed by swords than by magic."

She was going down a road she didn't need to with him though.

"Anyways. I digress. You not being fluent in Tevene is fine. Parts of it are in the Trade tongue and I need your help as a scribe more than as a scholar on magic. The Warden-Commander was hoping to get these translated. So long as he can understand them, we're good."

Selora worked steadily, in no particular rush. She directed Javier what she needed from him and was a very patient woman if he had difficulty with some parts of the copying. She'd explain the magical elements as they popped up, putting it into layman's terms without getting too esoteric. She was just as curious to divine more of what the Venatori had been doing as anyone.

Javier would scribe well for Selora, asking poignant questions, especially on some concepts. He was a good student at any rate and Selora would notice he started grasping concepts soon enough. In a different life, he would have been a scholar, perhaps a professor but one made mistakes in their youth.

He was certainly as reliable as he was in tracking birds. At the end of it, all they could tell from the artefact was that it was Halla shaped, speculated to be a key and that was all the Venatori knew. Although the magister did write about the shielding that was around it. It was ancient, but powered by runes and that made it easy once the Pride demon had damaged the integrity of them. Without further exploration of the Dales, that was a dead end.

The spellbooks the Venatori had though were hard to obtain even in Tevinter, covering a good bit of demon control and blood magic. Of course none of these worked when you had a spirit attempting to tamper with it. Among them was a book on necromancy and how to... turn the skulls of the Tranquil into Ocularum. Javier would look confused if Selora got him to scribe that part down.

The Venatori books were more interesting than Selora had expected. They covered dark materials but they were also perfectly Tevinter in that regard. Ocularum... that was a fascinating idea. On an academic level, of course. It was good to know, at any rate. She'd give Javier a half smile and shrug her slim shoulders again.

"You'd look through the skull and it would... enhance your vision. Allow you to see things more clearly. Even things that weren't visible to the naked eye." She explained. "A device with it's share of utility... and it may well be a mercy to the Tranquil to be put to such a use. Being made Tranquil is... a horror of every mage."

Demon control... well, the Wardens had learned a lesson about that recently. Still, good to know. Especially that a spirit interfering with it could erode said control. Vimes might find that interesting, owing to his specialty. Maybe he could find a way to work with his spirit companion to achieve such an end in battle?

"But it is a touch gruesome." She continued. "I find the speculation that the missing artifact was a key to be more interesting. What does it unlock? Why did the two Dalish wardens want it? Presumably, they know what it's a key to."

Javier helped Selora pen down what she said. When she explained the things, he blinked a little.

"Doesn't look like any vision lens I know of, or telescope for that matter," he said, totally not getting the idea. "Why would they need the Tranquil's skull anyway? It's a little disturbing that they'll need to use it to look through. I mean I'd personally hate the idea of someone peering through my skull... even if I was dead... but I do pity the Tranquil. I cannot imagine what its like to lose emotions... I heard they lose their passions too."

A glance was given to the book of birds.

"I don't think we'll find those answers sitting here honestly. Although I know the Commander wouldn't let me go out field that soon again..." Javier trailed off and frowned. "We lost two wardens of late, Natalie and... Analise who we found," he said shuddering at the memory. He went silent for a bit as he looked away from Selora. He was not yet over the death of his fellow warden... and the brutality of it.

"The... the commander's not keen on... losing more of us." He spoke rather haltingly, his hands shaking some.

"The skull of the Tranquil has been altered from a normal human's. Humans, elves, ox-men, we dream. Dwarves don't but their race has no apparent natural connection to the Fade." Selora said. "The Tranquil don't dream. Their connection to the Fade is completely severed. Limited emotions, no imagination, perhaps there's a symbolism in that for its use as a tool. Without an imagination, the occularum sees things as they really are."

She shrugged.

"I'm guessing, really. Consider also the book was written by a Tevinter mage who likely saw this as the greatest use for the Tranquil. Have one that's too old to work anymore? He's still useful in death." Selora smiled. "There's a vicious sort of pragmatism that permeates some of the Circles in the Imperium."

She was inclined to agree with Javier's assessment of their not returning to the field. The Wardens had lost many of their number of late, even more now with apparent deserters. Natalie, Analise, among others. Vimes was struggling to rebuild an Order that may have been irreparably broken. There was no nice way to say that without giving offense, so Selora kept it to herself. If nothing else, the Wardens might eventually fade into history just as their griffins did. Then the world would see if there were other ways to stop a Blight when the next one came.

Selora leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over another, forgetting the books for a moment and shutting them. She heard the tone in Javier's voice, the shake in his hand. Her ears perked, cat-like. Normally the Wardens kept to themselves when it came to such personal sentiments. That he was sharing even a small bit with her now wasn't something she wanted to ignore.

"I suspect you're right. We've learned what answers we can. Thank you for your assistance." She flicked her wrist and the book on birds which he'd glanced at slid across the table towards him, with that tiny little sleepwalking sensation accompanying the use of magic. "You and the rest of your Order have certainly been through a lot lately. Some a result of the Orders decisions, some you've simply inherited because it's a damaged world."

The elf mage smiled.

"If you'd rather lose yourself in your book for a time, I'll take no offense. If you wanted to discuss things on your mind, however, I am here. You have my undivided attention."

Javier was one who wore his expression on his sleeve. When Selora described the Tranquil, he stared at her as he processed the words, but his expression changed when she spoke about the usefulness of the Tranquil even in death. It was one of horror, mixed with disgust... which worsened when she smiled at the Tranquil being useful.

At his best, he was able to at least put up a front, not so much when he was shaking at the memory of Analise coupled with those emotions. He'd hold up his hands in a surrendering motion when Selora concluded their study and offered a listening ear, breathing hard. Then he held up his right index finger before he gripped the edges of the table they were at somewhat tightly.

He wouldn't make any inclination to move away from her, nor did he say anything either... Not yet anyway. The young man buried his face in his hands... his body shaking with silent sobs. They were the only ones here after all and the wall finally broke with the sheer amount of emotions he felt and hid.

Selora froze herself, not because of the look of horror and disgust, but when the man began to cry. She wasn't a natural empath, she'd obviously upset him though... or the weight of everything else had? Gods, she could be clumsy with her words. The power to remake reality in accordance with her passing whim but powerless to keep her foot out of her mouth sometimes. Causing Javier further grief made her stomach clench.

That daydream sensation sang on the air again, like a distant music, as Selora enacted a privacy ward around them. It wouldn't stop a raging Ogre, or someone who really wanted to open the library door, but it would mute sound passing out of this room and create some resistance on the door opening to where anyone trying to enter the library would have to dispel her magic or work for it.

"I'm prone to jadedness from... everything that's happened to me." She sighed at her own verbal clumsiness. "Denerim. Tevinter. The Circle. Funny how one forgets the times they cried themselves to sleep until they ran out of tears."

Selora stood up and quietly walked around the table to Javier's side. Assuming he didn't motion her away, get up, or otherwise indicate he didn't want her near, she sat down beside him. After a moment, she'd rest a hand on his shoulder lightly. Not squeezing, pulling, anything like that. Just a presence.

Javier didn't reject the comfort the woman offered, and it would be a while before he could speak normally.

"It's... not easy to deal with grief," he said finally when the tears stopped. "I'm sorry..."

There was another short pause before he continued, wondering how to choose his words.

"Analise and I joined around the same time. We got along... really well.... I didn't even get to say good bye. And to see her body like that... please don't tell Skaldrin," he said pleading with her softly... then he continued. "You're the closest thing I have to a friend here."

Which was true. It was business for most part and Selora would hardly see Javier about the dining hall talking to the other wardens. He was always off on his own, perhaps that was why. He was quietly mourning his friend... or was it more than a friend?

The signs had been all there even if he had tried to hide it. His reaction on seeing Analise initially, and how he just followed instincts and orders, how he had just disappeared for a few hours. He had been hiding it for the most part behind a smile, with his birds... until the topic came up. There had not been time during their mission after all to mourn, and even if he did, it would have hampered his abilities. Or at least he saw it as such.

Selora was surprised and a touch flattered by Javier's statement. The closest thing he had to a friend? It wasn't an unwelcome sentiment and the reverse was probably true for Javier. Lucius certainly was not a friend and while she got along with Skaldrin and Vimes, both were more duty focused. It surprised her though in that the camaraderie typically shown among the Wardens hadn't translated into friendship for Javier.

"You do not have to be sorry. And not a word will be uttered to Skaldrin or anyone else." She answered. "The library is now warded as well. No one from outside can eavesdrop on your words or even open that door without significant effort."

She thought about it further. She didn't see Javier in the dining hall talking with his fellows very often. He was a loner, not unlike her, who preferred his own company. She didn't know if he and Analise had been more than friends. There was nothing wrong with a man and woman in a difficult role seeking comfort from one another.

"The world is often a very unfair place." She didn't say it as a quip, they'd both experienced some genuinely unfair things in their lives. "It tends to leave its scars in our souls."

She left her hand on Javier's shoulder.

"Were the two of you lovers?"

They cared for him, but the age gap did not help in terms of developing a friendship. Being able to work together didn't mean that they understood him. One was a former Legionnaire, dead in the eyes of his fellows, the other a mage from Kirkwall of all places. His own troubles were quite paltry in comparison to whatever they had gone through.

"Thank you," he said when she said the room was warded.

"I never expected it to be fair.... but it could be kinder to a lot," he said quietly as he rested his head on his arms.

"We were for a while... we had fought before she was sent on a mission," he said quietly. "Seems so minor now. I'm pretty sure the other wardens knew... about us. I think that's why Vimes sent me along... because he knows I'll find her one way or another."

It could most definitely be kinder but Selora held little hope it would be. Life had taught her it only grew more intense, one just adjusted to match. Such words would hardly comfort Javier and she had no frame of reference for his loss. She'd never lost a romantic partner like that and wasn't sure what to say that would offer clarity or make him feel better. In the time honored wisdom of such moments, when unsure what words to use, Selora opted for a 'less is more' stance.

"It could be." She agreed.

Selora didn't object to Javier using her arms to support his head. There was an odd feeling of displacement that went through her mind. In a Tevinter Circle, she'd be keenly aware how easy their positions would make it for Javier to shove a poisoned dagger into her gut. That this simple gesture implied she trusted Javier more than any of her former peers. Oddly, she did. Selora didn't think he was a saint but didn't see what alternative motive Javier could have. Of course, when it happens, it's when you don't see it coming. Not for the first time, she had a passing thought about what life might have been like if a lot of things had happened differently.

"I doubt her last thoughts were of a minor argument the two of you had." Selora said with relative certainty. "Don't let such a thing rob you of the more pleasant memories of your time together."

Nor the memory of how you found her... which she didn't want to bring up again.

"I know that's easier said than done as well."

Javier took a deep breath before he straightened himself up. The man wiped his tears and shook his head.

"Thank you," he said quietly. The simple sympathy was enough for him. He hardly expected more honestly.

"She never minded when I went on about the birds... but she just liked listening," he said quietly with a sigh before going silent for a bit. He wasn't aware of the thoughts going through Selora's head on him stabbing her. His weapons were nowhere in sight anyway.

He then chuckled a little. "Never expected I'd be friends with a Tevinter mage one day," he said shaking his head. "At least I hope you consider me a friend."

"It's a very odd world. I never thought I'd be a Tevinter mage let alone assigned to observe the Gray Wardens." Selora answered Javier. "I consider you a friend as well. I've spent more time with you since coming here than without."

Each of the two times she'd gone into the field, it had been with Javier. She'd certainly developed an appreciation for the young man and did enjoy his company. He was an interesting human, more so because he deviated from the norm. It was a shame more humans weren't like him. Selora found most of his quirks endearing more than frustrating, even if she also thought his political acumen sometimes lacked.

"The idea of having a friend is something of a revelation for me. In the Circle, especially as an elf, one has allies more than friends. I'm sure it wasn't the same for everyone but such was my experience. Not all my peers appreciated my charming personality as you do."

The mage smiled. Her happiest moments from the Imperium came from her master's home. Being sponsored to the Circle had been a great honor, one she was well aware of it having been so. Minrathous had not been her home any more than memories of Denerim were. Deracles was the surrogate father she'd been robbed of. Hunting trips, visits to his library, little displays of magic to amuse and captivate her... good memories.

"I appreciate you, is what I'm trying to express. Lucius serves my master more than myself and he doesn't like elves over much, let alone deferring to one. Suffice to say, there's no casual talking with him. And any time you feel like talking about birds, I have a listening ear. Ornithology isn't my specialty but I find it interesting."

Perhaps it was his deviation from the norm that outcasted him despite his friendly nature. As she mentioned how one had allies more than friends, Javier nodded his head.

"I wouldn't expect less... I've heard of how it's... very lucrative as an assassin in the Tevinter Imperium. It was a line I briefly considered at one point after... my time at the university..." he said with a sigh. Things had gone downhill for him for a while. Well he didn't have that many friends so he hadn't much to judge on really. But he wouldn't point that out to Selora.

"Thank you Selora," he repeated again when she spoke about listening to him. "Never saw why others disliked elves. There's no difference to me," he said. Overall he seemed to be doing better after letting himself cry it out. It would come again, he knew. Wave after wave, but at least he wasn't alone in dealing with it.

"I apologise if I've taken up more of your time than you had intended," he said sheepishly.

Javier didn't strike her as an assassin but she might be prematurely judging him. He could have it within him so maybe it was more accurate to say he didn't strike her as an assassin as he was now. It required more moral flexibility than she thought he possessed and if Javier could get upset by the death around him, he certainly couldn't inflict it for gold on strangers. He didn't seem the type.

"Some magisters are talented enough dreamers that they can kill a rival in their sleep." She nodded. "An occupational hazard the higher in influence one grows. I like to think of what the Imperium could be if they stopped in-fighting. Were the magisters to unite to a cause, there'd be no more Quanri."

That might be optimistic but there was some homeland pride showing through in that statement. Selora's opinion of the ox-men was already established as fairly low.

"Of course, then they'd also likely invade Thedas again, there might be an Exalted March, bad times." She shook her head. "Magister Pavus's ideas are gaining more and more traction there. Still small, for now, but I have hope."

Not that Javier likely cared to hear her opinion on Tevinter politics.

"I could go on at great length about human-elf history but I'd rather not. It is what it is and for the foreseeable future, it will be the same as it always has been. It's enough for me to find acceptance with individuals such as yourself." She smiled to him and gave his shoulder a squeeze with the hand that was still on it. "I long ago gave up on making the world as a whole like me or my kind."

Rather, the world had quickly taught her it was futile.

"You've taken up no time that I regret giving. I enjoy your company, Javier. You need not apologize if you're enjoying mine in turn. I'm also done with the Venatori books for the moment if you were wanting to indulge in your birds some more."