Date 9/12/2025
We believe that Jean-Baptiste Lazares may be guilty of the once thought of falsified documents that FBI found a rogue agent that was suspect of foul play...is actually not false.
Although the Defense Secretary assured us in public that was not the case and that he would stand trial. Today, here before you is the rogue agent...that actually isn't a rogue agent at all. Major Miyamoto reinstates his actual position as he stands before us in his formal regalia.
"As you can see I have my military license right here...and I am in fact, serving still in the Air Force as a Major now."
When we asked him why he stuck his neck out on getting those documentations and how he suspected foul play?
"Good intuition and a good gut feeling has served me well in the skies for so long. I couldn't pass up the chance that I might be right. Because if I was wrong, I only would be facing a few years in jail....looks like to me, Jean might be facing that instead now."
And he isn't wrong, folks. Due to the shocking absence of Jean Lazares, it is quite clear that at the moment, the mans warrant is out since he had missed his court date. When we asked the maybe soon to be new Director of Defense what he thought, Assistant Director Sarelli only had one thing to say.
"We will be searching every crevice for this man so he can answer for his crimes." He looked quite grim and serious, and we don't doubt his intent on the man paying justice.
As a citizen of Ward Six Washington D.C. I am sorry to say folks....
That it looks like we all might have been misled about Jean.
