Thursday. July 1, 1982
Morning at the Blackwell Home
Tabby hadn't slept well last night. She was still lying in her bed with her head under the covers. Between fighting with her mom, band practice, being on the news, a scary ordeal, and her strange need to attempt to punish herself for sharing her darkest secret with Starla, that had been expected. That didn't even begin to cover the fear of what would happen when her father came home. Would he find out and fly in early?
Meanwhile in the kitchen...
"Yes, Miss North," Debbie replied. "She's not up yet, but I promise she will call you as soon as I can get her out of bed and awake. Probably about 10 minutes or so. She's not working today... Okay, thanks! She'll call you back in a few minutes."
Debbie dreaded waking Tabby up after her blow-up last night. She'd tried to give her daughter space. Miss North from the cheerleading team had called last night after the news story ran. Tabby had been at her band rehearsal and the phone had continued to ring all night from different cheerleaders and their moms wanting to find out what had happened. By the time Tabby had gotten in, it was too late to call the coach back.
It was now 9 AM and Miss North had called right as the clock hit the hour. Tabby was likely sound asleep so she didn't want to keep her waiting excessively as her daughter got awake enough to take the call. Still, it sounded pretty urgent. Debbie understood the cheer squad was a tight-knit group and the coach was doing her due diligence. After all, that had been quite a scary ordeal. It was nice that she seemed to care that much about the girls on her team.
Debbie was going to have to go downtown to Dallas today. She had some business she was supposed to take care of for Karl regarding some insurance and investing matters with their broker. She had an appointment for 11 a.m. It was about an hour's drive. However, Debbie needed to allow extra time. She was never comfortable driving downtown and finding parking. The freeways here were poorly marked and confusing. She needed to build in that extra time in case she got lost. Debbie always had a terrible sense of direction and anytime she left the immediate Teal Cove area, it never failed she'd get turned around. Whenever she had to go out to the country club without Karl, she always seemed to miss the turn and end up on a back road going in circles. It was a good thing he wasn't here this morning or she'd be a nervous wreck.
Debbie took a deep breath as she headed from the kitchen to Tabby's bedroom.
"Tabby," Debbie called through the door as she tapped on it lightly.
"What," Tabby called back through the door.
"Your coach called. She'd like you to call her back. I told her you would. Please get up and return the phone call," Debbie replied. "I left her number on the counter for you."
"Okay, okay, okay," Tabby snapped. She was clearly agitated and probably still angry with her over last night.
"Alright, just don't forget honey! I need to get Danny up then I have to go downtown to take care of some business with your father's broker. I'll be out a good part of the day and I need to get on the road. I always have trouble finding his office," Debbie explained.
"Fine," Tabby replied through the door. "I'll be up in a minute and I'll call Coach North."
Debbie then moved to Danny's bedroom door and tapped on it, repeating the same things although Danny didn't have anything to do today. He'd probably just watch television or play with his Atari. Still, she didn't want him to lie in bed all afternoon.
A few minutes later, Debbie went back to the master bedroom and finished putting on her makeup and jewelry. When she came out, the hall bathroom door was closed and the light was on. Tabby's bedroom door was open. At least that was some progress.
"I'm leaving. Don't forget to call Miss North and please check on your brother and make sure he gets up," Debbie asked.
"OKAY," Tabby yelled angrily.
Debbie stuck her head into Danny's room. He was sitting up in bed, but still groggy.
"Heading downtown," Debbie told him. "Love you both!"
With that, she made her way to the driveway, reviewed the directions she'd written down, and was on her way a few minutes later. Debbie really hoped Tabby had a good day and that she and Danny didn't fight. She also hoped that she would call the cheer coach back and that Karl didn't call. She still had no idea what she was going to say to him about everything that had happened to Tabby when he got home.
Morning at the Blackwell Home
Tabby hadn't slept well last night. She was still lying in her bed with her head under the covers. Between fighting with her mom, band practice, being on the news, a scary ordeal, and her strange need to attempt to punish herself for sharing her darkest secret with Starla, that had been expected. That didn't even begin to cover the fear of what would happen when her father came home. Would he find out and fly in early?
Meanwhile in the kitchen...
"Yes, Miss North," Debbie replied. "She's not up yet, but I promise she will call you as soon as I can get her out of bed and awake. Probably about 10 minutes or so. She's not working today... Okay, thanks! She'll call you back in a few minutes."
Debbie dreaded waking Tabby up after her blow-up last night. She'd tried to give her daughter space. Miss North from the cheerleading team had called last night after the news story ran. Tabby had been at her band rehearsal and the phone had continued to ring all night from different cheerleaders and their moms wanting to find out what had happened. By the time Tabby had gotten in, it was too late to call the coach back.
It was now 9 AM and Miss North had called right as the clock hit the hour. Tabby was likely sound asleep so she didn't want to keep her waiting excessively as her daughter got awake enough to take the call. Still, it sounded pretty urgent. Debbie understood the cheer squad was a tight-knit group and the coach was doing her due diligence. After all, that had been quite a scary ordeal. It was nice that she seemed to care that much about the girls on her team.
Debbie was going to have to go downtown to Dallas today. She had some business she was supposed to take care of for Karl regarding some insurance and investing matters with their broker. She had an appointment for 11 a.m. It was about an hour's drive. However, Debbie needed to allow extra time. She was never comfortable driving downtown and finding parking. The freeways here were poorly marked and confusing. She needed to build in that extra time in case she got lost. Debbie always had a terrible sense of direction and anytime she left the immediate Teal Cove area, it never failed she'd get turned around. Whenever she had to go out to the country club without Karl, she always seemed to miss the turn and end up on a back road going in circles. It was a good thing he wasn't here this morning or she'd be a nervous wreck.
Debbie took a deep breath as she headed from the kitchen to Tabby's bedroom.
"Tabby," Debbie called through the door as she tapped on it lightly.
"What," Tabby called back through the door.
"Your coach called. She'd like you to call her back. I told her you would. Please get up and return the phone call," Debbie replied. "I left her number on the counter for you."
"Okay, okay, okay," Tabby snapped. She was clearly agitated and probably still angry with her over last night.
"Alright, just don't forget honey! I need to get Danny up then I have to go downtown to take care of some business with your father's broker. I'll be out a good part of the day and I need to get on the road. I always have trouble finding his office," Debbie explained.
"Fine," Tabby replied through the door. "I'll be up in a minute and I'll call Coach North."
Debbie then moved to Danny's bedroom door and tapped on it, repeating the same things although Danny didn't have anything to do today. He'd probably just watch television or play with his Atari. Still, she didn't want him to lie in bed all afternoon.
A few minutes later, Debbie went back to the master bedroom and finished putting on her makeup and jewelry. When she came out, the hall bathroom door was closed and the light was on. Tabby's bedroom door was open. At least that was some progress.
"I'm leaving. Don't forget to call Miss North and please check on your brother and make sure he gets up," Debbie asked.
"OKAY," Tabby yelled angrily.
Debbie stuck her head into Danny's room. He was sitting up in bed, but still groggy.
"Heading downtown," Debbie told him. "Love you both!"
With that, she made her way to the driveway, reviewed the directions she'd written down, and was on her way a few minutes later. Debbie really hoped Tabby had a good day and that she and Danny didn't fight. She also hoped that she would call the cheer coach back and that Karl didn't call. She still had no idea what she was going to say to him about everything that had happened to Tabby when he got home.
Tabby’s thoughts were interrupted when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
"Tabby," Debbie called through the door as she tapped on it lightly.
"What," Tabby called back through the door.
"Your coach called. She'd like you to call her back. I told her you would. Please get up and return the phone call," Debbie replied. "I left her number on the counter for you."
"Okay, okay, okay," Tabby snapped. She was clearly agitated and probably still angry with her over last night.
"Alright, just don't forget honey! I need to get Danny up then I have to go downtown to take care of some business with your father's broker. I'll be out a good part of the day and I need to get on the road. I always have trouble finding his office," Debbie explained.
"Fine," Tabby replied through the door. "I'll be up in a minute and I'll call Coach North."
Great Tabby thought. Just what she needed, a lecture from the cheerleading coach. God only knows what Marie and the seniors had told her. Starla had been hauled off with the older girls after they came to work yesterday. Whatever had been said didn’t come up in the car last night, though, so it couldn’t be too serious.
Tabby heard her mother talking to Danny. His bedroom was next to hers. She waited a beat and then when it sounded like her mom had gone to her own bedroom, Tabby hopped up and peered out the door. The coast was clear. Tabby bolted to the bathroom and shut the door so she could get in before her brother got up.
The first thing she did was inspect her face for redness or pressure marks, particularly around her mouth. Nothing looked weird and it had been a few hours. Her hair was a tangled rats nest. She grabbed her brush and began to get the tangles out.
"I'm leaving. Don't forget to call Miss North and please check on your brother and make sure he gets up," Debbie asked.
"OKAY," Tabby yelled angrily.
Debbie stuck her head into Danny's room. He was sitting up in bed, but still groggy.
"Heading downtown," Debbie told him. "Love you both!"
A few minutes later, Tabby emerged from the bathroom and went back into her bedroom and closed the door. Her hair had been pulled back into a single ponytail. She changed out of her pajamas and into a pair of jeans and grabbed a random t-shirt from the closet and put it on. It was a white one that said “Born to Rock” in black script with the sillouette of a guitar on it.
Once changed, she took a deep breath and headed to the kitchen. Danny emerged from his room and closed the bathroom door behind him, ignoring his sister.
“Well, better get this shit over with,” Tabby said under her breath with a sigh. She lifted the receiver of the phone and punched in Coach North’s phone number. Out of habit, she reached for her hair to twist a lock around her finger as the phone rang. She glanced down and remembered that she’d pulled it back today. That all too familiar knot began to form in her stomach as she heard a click and Karen North answered.
“Hello,” a woman’s voice said a moment later.
“Coach North? It’s Tabby Blackwell,” Tabby responded, trying to sound calm and confident, even though she was anything but.
There was a pause. “Miss Blackwell,” Karen’s voice sounded warm and enthusiastic. “I”m so glad to hear you’re safe hon! Are you okay?”
Tabby started to relax. She’d worried that she was going to be in trouble. It seemed this was just the coach checking up on her team members. Maybe Coach North wasn’t so bad after all.
“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back last night,” Tabby apologized. “It was a bit crazy. Half the town called after the news and I was out…”
“Yes, I also called Miss Baxter’s house and her mother said the two of you were out together,” Coach North replied, cutting Tabby short. She didn’t sound snippy, but her tone was definitely less friendly. “Were you hurt at all?”
“Just a little shaken up,” Tabby began. “It was definitely a scary ordeal but…”
“I bet it was,” Karen North interrupted again. “Well, I’m glad you’re both safe. That being said, I really felt that I needed to talk with you about some of your decisions this summer. As you know, there are high expectations for the girls that make the Lady Raptors. We are an elite group and not just anyone can be a part of our team. As such we have very high standards. Not just when we’re in uniform, not just during the school year. That includes the weekends, the summer, even when you’re at home on your own time and out and about in the community.”
There was a pause. Tabby couldn’t quite find her voice, even to say “yes ma’am”. She suddenly flashed back to sitting on the corner of the bed in the house on the farm thinking about Mama interrogating her in the bedroom. Coach North continued after an awkward moment of silence.
“So far, you haven’t demonstrated good judgement. This isn’t the first incident I’ve become aware of,” Karen continued. “There have been a few in a very short time.” Tabby felt her stomach knot up again and reached again to twist her hair around her finger, forgetting that it was in a pony tail. When she realized what she was doing, she dropped her hand to her side and swallowed hard.
“Now, I will say I am quite disappointed in Miss Baxter. As your Big, she hasn’t done a particularly good job of setting an example to you. We haven’t even gotten to cheer camp and I already have some serious… concerns,” The Coach’s voice had taken on a sharp condescending tone. “I am very worried about some of the people you are both associating with. It is also my understanding that your in a music group that is performing this weekend at the city fireworks show?”
Tabby didn’t answer immediately. It took an incredible amount of energy to muster up a “Yes ma’am” in a tiny voice.
“I need both you and Miss Baxter to understand that that sort of an image, of being in a rock group is not acceptable for the team. Not only do you have to think about who you associate with, but it is equally important that you consider at all times about the impression you make as a cheerleader and the image and message behind such music. Glorifying the devil, drinking, having sex, doing drugs, disrespecting authority… Miss Blackwell, you do understand that cheer camp is just over 30 days away from now, correct?”
“Y-yes ma’am” Tabby managed again.
“Before we held tryouts, we went over the very intense schedule we have,” Coach North continued. “Not only are their football games, but there are practices every single day until 5 PM. While everyone else is sleeping in on Saturday mornings, we’re up at school at 9 am practicing our routines. Our school year starts well ahead of the other students and our school days go longer. We’re practicing well after the final bell rings for everyone else for the day.”
“I understand,” Tabby forced herself to say.
“There is no time for playing rock star, Miss Blackwell. Aside from studying and keeping your grades up, and spending time with your family on Sunday, your responsibility is to the Lady Raptors,” The coach stated sternly. “We have a demanding schedule and we can’t afford distractions or anything that might tarnish this team’s image. Do I make myself clear, Miss Blackwell?”
“C-completely,” Tabby forced herself to say, her voice cracking slightly. She was shaking now.
“Then we understand that after this weekend, there is no more rock band for you or for Miss Baxter,” Coach North snapped.
“I do,” Tabby found herself responding, her voice betraying her. Dammit, why can’t you stand up for yourself? The band means the world to you!
“Good, not only am I concerned about how this will reflect on the team and that it is a hobby you do not have time for once we begin camp, I’m very worried about who you are associating with,” Miss North stated flatly.
“Trevor and Matt are good guys, I assure you ma’am. Starla is,” She started to say.
“Starla WAS dating one of the young men in the band. Believe me, I am going to be talking to her and her parents about that. She’s done with him and hanging up her guitar or whatever it is she does. I understand that it is too late at this point for the city to find new entertainment on such short notice. That wouldn’t be fair to the organizers of the event. I’m going to go ahead and allow you both to do this because other people are affected. HOWEVER, plan on this being your last performance, Miss Blackwell,” Karen North was no longer sounding nice.
It almost sounded like she was being threatened, like Mama and her thugs on the farm. “I’m also aware of that Higgins woman you’re associating with. Believe me, I have looked into her too, Miss Blackwell. I understand she is a co-worker of yours at the hamburger stand you work at. It’s a summer job and summer ends early for my girls and my team. I expect your association to end when you turn in your uniform in the next few weeks as you get your mind focused on the team,” Karen ordered. “You had best think about your behavior in public, the type of songs you’re going to perform, and how you present yourself in your performance Saturday night, young lady. Even though it is still summer, we made it clear to everyone that we have high standards and expectations year-round.”
Tabby was now fighting back tears. Her life was over. It looked like Saturday really was going to be it for her one way or another. She nodded even though the coach couldn’t see her.
“I… uh, y-yes,” Tabby managed.
“Alright, we’ll be discussing this further as we get closer to cheer camp, Miss Blackwell. Do stay out of trouble. If there are any more incidents such as what happened the other night, that could be grounds for dismissal or other disciplinary action,” The coach informed Tabby sternly. “Poor choices lead to what happened. It was more than just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Do not disappoint me again.”
“Yes ma’am,” Tabby quickly answered. Without even so much as a good bye or a “glad you’re okay” there was a click and Miss North hung up. Tabby stood there in stunned silence, tears running down her face. It wasn’t until the busy signal came on that Tabby snapped back to reality and hung up the receiver. Then she ran as fast as she could to the bathroom. Danny was still in it, so she went into her parents’ bedroom and their private bathroom and closed the door. She sank to the floor and buried her head in her knees.
“Fuck my life,” She whispered.
"Tabby," Debbie called through the door as she tapped on it lightly.
"What," Tabby called back through the door.
"Your coach called. She'd like you to call her back. I told her you would. Please get up and return the phone call," Debbie replied. "I left her number on the counter for you."
"Okay, okay, okay," Tabby snapped. She was clearly agitated and probably still angry with her over last night.
"Alright, just don't forget honey! I need to get Danny up then I have to go downtown to take care of some business with your father's broker. I'll be out a good part of the day and I need to get on the road. I always have trouble finding his office," Debbie explained.
"Fine," Tabby replied through the door. "I'll be up in a minute and I'll call Coach North."
Great Tabby thought. Just what she needed, a lecture from the cheerleading coach. God only knows what Marie and the seniors had told her. Starla had been hauled off with the older girls after they came to work yesterday. Whatever had been said didn’t come up in the car last night, though, so it couldn’t be too serious.
Tabby heard her mother talking to Danny. His bedroom was next to hers. She waited a beat and then when it sounded like her mom had gone to her own bedroom, Tabby hopped up and peered out the door. The coast was clear. Tabby bolted to the bathroom and shut the door so she could get in before her brother got up.
The first thing she did was inspect her face for redness or pressure marks, particularly around her mouth. Nothing looked weird and it had been a few hours. Her hair was a tangled rats nest. She grabbed her brush and began to get the tangles out.
"I'm leaving. Don't forget to call Miss North and please check on your brother and make sure he gets up," Debbie asked.
"OKAY," Tabby yelled angrily.
Debbie stuck her head into Danny's room. He was sitting up in bed, but still groggy.
"Heading downtown," Debbie told him. "Love you both!"
A few minutes later, Tabby emerged from the bathroom and went back into her bedroom and closed the door. Her hair had been pulled back into a single ponytail. She changed out of her pajamas and into a pair of jeans and grabbed a random t-shirt from the closet and put it on. It was a white one that said “Born to Rock” in black script with the sillouette of a guitar on it.
Once changed, she took a deep breath and headed to the kitchen. Danny emerged from his room and closed the bathroom door behind him, ignoring his sister.
“Well, better get this shit over with,” Tabby said under her breath with a sigh. She lifted the receiver of the phone and punched in Coach North’s phone number. Out of habit, she reached for her hair to twist a lock around her finger as the phone rang. She glanced down and remembered that she’d pulled it back today. That all too familiar knot began to form in her stomach as she heard a click and Karen North answered.
“Hello,” a woman’s voice said a moment later.
“Coach North? It’s Tabby Blackwell,” Tabby responded, trying to sound calm and confident, even though she was anything but.
There was a pause. “Miss Blackwell,” Karen’s voice sounded warm and enthusiastic. “I”m so glad to hear you’re safe hon! Are you okay?”
Tabby started to relax. She’d worried that she was going to be in trouble. It seemed this was just the coach checking up on her team members. Maybe Coach North wasn’t so bad after all.
“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back last night,” Tabby apologized. “It was a bit crazy. Half the town called after the news and I was out…”
“Yes, I also called Miss Baxter’s house and her mother said the two of you were out together,” Coach North replied, cutting Tabby short. She didn’t sound snippy, but her tone was definitely less friendly. “Were you hurt at all?”
“Just a little shaken up,” Tabby began. “It was definitely a scary ordeal but…”
“I bet it was,” Karen North interrupted again. “Well, I’m glad you’re both safe. That being said, I really felt that I needed to talk with you about some of your decisions this summer. As you know, there are high expectations for the girls that make the Lady Raptors. We are an elite group and not just anyone can be a part of our team. As such we have very high standards. Not just when we’re in uniform, not just during the school year. That includes the weekends, the summer, even when you’re at home on your own time and out and about in the community.”
There was a pause. Tabby couldn’t quite find her voice, even to say “yes ma’am”. She suddenly flashed back to sitting on the corner of the bed in the house on the farm thinking about Mama interrogating her in the bedroom. Coach North continued after an awkward moment of silence.
“So far, you haven’t demonstrated good judgement. This isn’t the first incident I’ve become aware of,” Karen continued. “There have been a few in a very short time.” Tabby felt her stomach knot up again and reached again to twist her hair around her finger, forgetting that it was in a pony tail. When she realized what she was doing, she dropped her hand to her side and swallowed hard.
“Now, I will say I am quite disappointed in Miss Baxter. As your Big, she hasn’t done a particularly good job of setting an example to you. We haven’t even gotten to cheer camp and I already have some serious… concerns,” The Coach’s voice had taken on a sharp condescending tone. “I am very worried about some of the people you are both associating with. It is also my understanding that your in a music group that is performing this weekend at the city fireworks show?”
Tabby didn’t answer immediately. It took an incredible amount of energy to muster up a “Yes ma’am” in a tiny voice.
“I need both you and Miss Baxter to understand that that sort of an image, of being in a rock group is not acceptable for the team. Not only do you have to think about who you associate with, but it is equally important that you consider at all times about the impression you make as a cheerleader and the image and message behind such music. Glorifying the devil, drinking, having sex, doing drugs, disrespecting authority… Miss Blackwell, you do understand that cheer camp is just over 30 days away from now, correct?”
“Y-yes ma’am” Tabby managed again.
“Before we held tryouts, we went over the very intense schedule we have,” Coach North continued. “Not only are their football games, but there are practices every single day until 5 PM. While everyone else is sleeping in on Saturday mornings, we’re up at school at 9 am practicing our routines. Our school year starts well ahead of the other students and our school days go longer. We’re practicing well after the final bell rings for everyone else for the day.”
“I understand,” Tabby forced herself to say.
“There is no time for playing rock star, Miss Blackwell. Aside from studying and keeping your grades up, and spending time with your family on Sunday, your responsibility is to the Lady Raptors,” The coach stated sternly. “We have a demanding schedule and we can’t afford distractions or anything that might tarnish this team’s image. Do I make myself clear, Miss Blackwell?”
“C-completely,” Tabby forced herself to say, her voice cracking slightly. She was shaking now.
“Then we understand that after this weekend, there is no more rock band for you or for Miss Baxter,” Coach North snapped.
“I do,” Tabby found herself responding, her voice betraying her. Dammit, why can’t you stand up for yourself? The band means the world to you!
“Good, not only am I concerned about how this will reflect on the team and that it is a hobby you do not have time for once we begin camp, I’m very worried about who you are associating with,” Miss North stated flatly.
“Trevor and Matt are good guys, I assure you ma’am. Starla is,” She started to say.
“Starla WAS dating one of the young men in the band. Believe me, I am going to be talking to her and her parents about that. She’s done with him and hanging up her guitar or whatever it is she does. I understand that it is too late at this point for the city to find new entertainment on such short notice. That wouldn’t be fair to the organizers of the event. I’m going to go ahead and allow you both to do this because other people are affected. HOWEVER, plan on this being your last performance, Miss Blackwell,” Karen North was no longer sounding nice.
It almost sounded like she was being threatened, like Mama and her thugs on the farm. “I’m also aware of that Higgins woman you’re associating with. Believe me, I have looked into her too, Miss Blackwell. I understand she is a co-worker of yours at the hamburger stand you work at. It’s a summer job and summer ends early for my girls and my team. I expect your association to end when you turn in your uniform in the next few weeks as you get your mind focused on the team,” Karen ordered. “You had best think about your behavior in public, the type of songs you’re going to perform, and how you present yourself in your performance Saturday night, young lady. Even though it is still summer, we made it clear to everyone that we have high standards and expectations year-round.”
Tabby was now fighting back tears. Her life was over. It looked like Saturday really was going to be it for her one way or another. She nodded even though the coach couldn’t see her.
“I… uh, y-yes,” Tabby managed.
“Alright, we’ll be discussing this further as we get closer to cheer camp, Miss Blackwell. Do stay out of trouble. If there are any more incidents such as what happened the other night, that could be grounds for dismissal or other disciplinary action,” The coach informed Tabby sternly. “Poor choices lead to what happened. It was more than just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Do not disappoint me again.”
“Yes ma’am,” Tabby quickly answered. Without even so much as a good bye or a “glad you’re okay” there was a click and Miss North hung up. Tabby stood there in stunned silence, tears running down her face. It wasn’t until the busy signal came on that Tabby snapped back to reality and hung up the receiver. Then she ran as fast as she could to the bathroom. Danny was still in it, so she went into her parents’ bedroom and their private bathroom and closed the door. She sank to the floor and buried her head in her knees.
“Fuck my life,” She whispered.
Tabby decided to take a shower. She was in her parents’ bathroom and needed the water to cover up the sounds of her crying so Danny didn’t hear her. If her mom asked why she’d used their bathroom, Danny was taking too long in the hallway bathroom and Tabby really needed to take a warm shower and wash her hair.
As she was drying off, she again thought about her kidnapping ordeal, the phone call with Coach North, her father and her strange experiment and what she was trying to accomplish with it. After she dried off, she felt the need to write in her journal about practice, being on the news and her talk with Starla since she wasn’t up to it last night.
The diary was for her eyes only, but she still couldn’t bring herself to write about her self-bondage or her thoughts behind it, so she omitted that part aside from vaguely alluding to it making sure to note that she had not engaged in any self harm. It was odd she felt the need to justify it in writing. She concluded with the phone call this morning and hating her life and fearing that everything important to her was about to be lost forever here. Writing things down was the closest she had to a therapist. Athough she was feeling less scared or upset, she was more angry with herself now.
Tabby decided to pull her hair back again, but this time she was going to braid it. As she did, she thought more about what she’d done to herself last night. Then she thought about the phone call with Coach North and how she felt completely paralyzed by fear as she’d allowed herself to be talked out of being in her band and accepting the blame for her abduction. She did the same thing with her father all the time. There had also been an opportunity for her to at least try to escape by climbing out the window and making a run for it on the farm. Yet, everytime, she gave in to her fear.
There had been nothing physically preventing her from speaking up or walking away from the phone call earlier. Tabby could have unplugged the phone or faked dropping it to disconnect the call. That would have at least bought her a little time to think about how to respond, but yet, she didn’t.
As Tabby replayed the conversation with Coach North in her mind she pictured herself tied to a chair in her pajamas. When the initiation kidnapping happened, all the first year girls would be in their bedclothes or their nightgowns, snatched from their beds at dawn the morning cheerleading camp started.
Tabby had discovered long ago, thinking about what she wished or should have done didn’t help and only made her more angry. Instead of visualizing fighting back or standing her ground, she reimagined the conversation on the phone, but this time Coach North began with the expectation lecture and how she’d already disappointed her with her choices this summer. There was no asking how she was or polite lead in. Tabby was once again gagged, making it a one-sided conversation.
Her interrogation was sort of a mixture of the initiation to come and her experience of being held captive on the farm combined with her dream while locked in the closet after she’d blacked out from exhaustion. Tabby pictured Coach North grilling her the same way Mama had although in the real version, she hadn’t been tied up at that point.
For some reason though, picturing herself like this made her feel less guilty and justified her complacency. Her paralyzing fear kept her from standing up for herself in both instances. Maybe the idea of being physically restrained made it feel like it wasn’t her fault. After all, if she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t respond, deny, justify or explain herself. She literally just had to sit and take it. Her responses were reduced to yes and no, communicating only with head nods. Her day dream was basically a metaphor of the situation and how she felt most of her life, helpless and unable to speak up.
At the same time, since she hadn’t stood up for herself when she had the chance, it felt like she’d failed and she felt the need for self punishment since there would be no second chance to fight back or have a redo. This was new ground for her, since she had never been a literal hostage before and she suddenly felt like she had a new perspective. For some reason, reimagining these situations where she felt empowered to defend herself didn’t feel like a solution. It was sort of a case of should have, would have, but didn’t and therefore, she didn’t deserve to fantasize about being a hero.
As she finished braiding her hair, Tabby contemplated repeating last night’s experiment but realized gagging herself wasn’t enough if she could remove it whenever she wanted. Also, it seemed pointless if she was private anyway and there was no one to actually speak to. Imagining the details of her helplessness didn’t seem to be enough or make it real, re-enforcing the reason why simply roleplaying everything out in her head with her fighting back and winning also didn’t provide a resolution.
In order for her to truly achieve what she’d hoped, she couldn’t have the ability to free herself. That would require another person that she could completely trust in a private and safe environment. It wasn’t just to tie her up, but she needed a witness… no a captor, someone who had control over her. She thought back to the dream of being bound to a dentist chair and her friends and family standing over her and the humiliation of them seeing her like that.
Could she pay Danny? How on Earth could she ask him to tie her up? He’d be all too willing to oblige her, but it would just be too weird. Then there would be the issue of preventing him from telling anyone and getting him to actually release her at some point. What if he left her like that until her mom came home?
How on Earth would Tabby explain it to her mom if she walked in and found her bound and gagged in her bedroom? Would she dismiss it as a silly brother/sister game or would she decide her daughter was deeply disturbed after her kidnapping ordeal and think she needed mental help because it had turned into a bizarre fetish? Unless Tabby had something to hold over her brother’s head as blackmail to ensure he followed her rules, there were too many risks.
What would Starla say if Tabby asked her to tie her up? Would she find it weird? Maybe she could wait until the initiation next month. As her big sister on the team, Starla would be one of the people that kidnapped her. It was highly likely Marie would be one of the others. Maybe Tabby could talk with Starla ahead of time and even provide the rope and gag?
As far as Tabby knew, that had not historically been part of it, although blindfolding the initiates was normal. Marie certainly wouldn’t complain about the additions, particularly if Tabby got Starla to present it as her own idea. That was more than a month away, though and she’d need to think a little more on that.
What if Tabby played up the fact that she was embarrassed she couldn’t get free on her own and it was a sort of challenge to avenge herself? It seemed like she had been the last to be untied. Starla would probably tell her that was silly. The only reason she had been able to escape herself had a lot to do with luck and she’d been tied up completely differently from the way Tabby was. The odds of Starla being able to perform the feat again was unlikely if she attempted it.
Trevor had gotten loose by literally breaking apart the wooden chair he’d been tied to. Tabby pondered asking Trevor or Matt for a moment but dismissed it. What about Shelley? Like Starla, she was at Speedy’s and wouldn’t be home until later in the day. Even if Shelley was agreeable and didn’t think Tabby’s request was weird, was there really a place with absolute privacy where no one else would walk in on her? Then it hit her. She knew exactly who she might ask and how she’d explain it.
A few minutes later, Tabby was out in the garage. Danny was in the living room playing Space Invaders on the Atari. That would distract him for hours. As she poked around, she rehearsed her explanation in her mind.
Tabby had recalled there was a long thick hemp rope somewhere out there. Several summers ago, there had been a tree house in the front yard of one of the houses where they lived. Initially, it had been used for a tire swing, but the tire was dry rotted and splitting apart and the steel belt was poking through the rubber in several spots and scratched anyone that sat on it. After eventually removing the tire, it became a climbing rope to get to the tree house until her father deemed the rickety structure too rotten and unsafe and made Danny spend a weekend helping him tear it down. The rope had been salvaged and for the rest of the summer, tug of war became a thing with the neighborhood kids at the Blackwells.
The old rope had survived several moves and Karl had found uses for it including securing boxes and luggage to the luggage rack on their old station wagon they’d gotten rid of last year or strapping down the Christmas tree to a borrowed trailer or pickup truck the years they’d opted for a live tree. Ever since then, he’d kept it.
Tabby quickly found and gathered up the coil of rope. It was on a peg above her dad’s work bench where his tools were and would be perfect for securing her arms. There was also a matted ball of thin cord in another box under the bench. It was in a hopeless tangled knot, but Tabby was able to get a good several feet of it or so and cut it with scissors. Finally, she found an old frayed jump rope. One of the yellow handles was missing and a large section had turned into a giant cotton ball. After cutting away the bad end that had come unraveled and removing the other handle, Tabby found it could wrap around her legs about 3 times just above the knees. If pulled tight and knotted, it would be quite secure.
Tabby went back to her room and grabbed her school backpack from her closet which was currently empty. She also took the hacky sack and scarf she used for her gag and grabbed a dark blue bandanna and then went back to the garage for the ropes. Danny was still too busy with his video game to pay any attention to what his sister was doing.
After a few minutes she exited the front door without a word to her brother. She headed down the street and cut between two houses and stopped midway between them across from Gary’s house.
Tabby’s heart sank. The blue and white van was gone, but even more odd was the Trans-Am was sitting in the driveway. Gary must be at Chuck E. Cheese working, but why was Shelley there? Shouldn’t she be at Speedy’s with Starla?
As she was drying off, she again thought about her kidnapping ordeal, the phone call with Coach North, her father and her strange experiment and what she was trying to accomplish with it. After she dried off, she felt the need to write in her journal about practice, being on the news and her talk with Starla since she wasn’t up to it last night.
The diary was for her eyes only, but she still couldn’t bring herself to write about her self-bondage or her thoughts behind it, so she omitted that part aside from vaguely alluding to it making sure to note that she had not engaged in any self harm. It was odd she felt the need to justify it in writing. She concluded with the phone call this morning and hating her life and fearing that everything important to her was about to be lost forever here. Writing things down was the closest she had to a therapist. Athough she was feeling less scared or upset, she was more angry with herself now.
Tabby decided to pull her hair back again, but this time she was going to braid it. As she did, she thought more about what she’d done to herself last night. Then she thought about the phone call with Coach North and how she felt completely paralyzed by fear as she’d allowed herself to be talked out of being in her band and accepting the blame for her abduction. She did the same thing with her father all the time. There had also been an opportunity for her to at least try to escape by climbing out the window and making a run for it on the farm. Yet, everytime, she gave in to her fear.
There had been nothing physically preventing her from speaking up or walking away from the phone call earlier. Tabby could have unplugged the phone or faked dropping it to disconnect the call. That would have at least bought her a little time to think about how to respond, but yet, she didn’t.
As Tabby replayed the conversation with Coach North in her mind she pictured herself tied to a chair in her pajamas. When the initiation kidnapping happened, all the first year girls would be in their bedclothes or their nightgowns, snatched from their beds at dawn the morning cheerleading camp started.
Tabby had discovered long ago, thinking about what she wished or should have done didn’t help and only made her more angry. Instead of visualizing fighting back or standing her ground, she reimagined the conversation on the phone, but this time Coach North began with the expectation lecture and how she’d already disappointed her with her choices this summer. There was no asking how she was or polite lead in. Tabby was once again gagged, making it a one-sided conversation.
Her interrogation was sort of a mixture of the initiation to come and her experience of being held captive on the farm combined with her dream while locked in the closet after she’d blacked out from exhaustion. Tabby pictured Coach North grilling her the same way Mama had although in the real version, she hadn’t been tied up at that point.
For some reason though, picturing herself like this made her feel less guilty and justified her complacency. Her paralyzing fear kept her from standing up for herself in both instances. Maybe the idea of being physically restrained made it feel like it wasn’t her fault. After all, if she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t respond, deny, justify or explain herself. She literally just had to sit and take it. Her responses were reduced to yes and no, communicating only with head nods. Her day dream was basically a metaphor of the situation and how she felt most of her life, helpless and unable to speak up.
At the same time, since she hadn’t stood up for herself when she had the chance, it felt like she’d failed and she felt the need for self punishment since there would be no second chance to fight back or have a redo. This was new ground for her, since she had never been a literal hostage before and she suddenly felt like she had a new perspective. For some reason, reimagining these situations where she felt empowered to defend herself didn’t feel like a solution. It was sort of a case of should have, would have, but didn’t and therefore, she didn’t deserve to fantasize about being a hero.
As she finished braiding her hair, Tabby contemplated repeating last night’s experiment but realized gagging herself wasn’t enough if she could remove it whenever she wanted. Also, it seemed pointless if she was private anyway and there was no one to actually speak to. Imagining the details of her helplessness didn’t seem to be enough or make it real, re-enforcing the reason why simply roleplaying everything out in her head with her fighting back and winning also didn’t provide a resolution.
In order for her to truly achieve what she’d hoped, she couldn’t have the ability to free herself. That would require another person that she could completely trust in a private and safe environment. It wasn’t just to tie her up, but she needed a witness… no a captor, someone who had control over her. She thought back to the dream of being bound to a dentist chair and her friends and family standing over her and the humiliation of them seeing her like that.
Could she pay Danny? How on Earth could she ask him to tie her up? He’d be all too willing to oblige her, but it would just be too weird. Then there would be the issue of preventing him from telling anyone and getting him to actually release her at some point. What if he left her like that until her mom came home?
How on Earth would Tabby explain it to her mom if she walked in and found her bound and gagged in her bedroom? Would she dismiss it as a silly brother/sister game or would she decide her daughter was deeply disturbed after her kidnapping ordeal and think she needed mental help because it had turned into a bizarre fetish? Unless Tabby had something to hold over her brother’s head as blackmail to ensure he followed her rules, there were too many risks.
What would Starla say if Tabby asked her to tie her up? Would she find it weird? Maybe she could wait until the initiation next month. As her big sister on the team, Starla would be one of the people that kidnapped her. It was highly likely Marie would be one of the others. Maybe Tabby could talk with Starla ahead of time and even provide the rope and gag?
As far as Tabby knew, that had not historically been part of it, although blindfolding the initiates was normal. Marie certainly wouldn’t complain about the additions, particularly if Tabby got Starla to present it as her own idea. That was more than a month away, though and she’d need to think a little more on that.
What if Tabby played up the fact that she was embarrassed she couldn’t get free on her own and it was a sort of challenge to avenge herself? It seemed like she had been the last to be untied. Starla would probably tell her that was silly. The only reason she had been able to escape herself had a lot to do with luck and she’d been tied up completely differently from the way Tabby was. The odds of Starla being able to perform the feat again was unlikely if she attempted it.
Trevor had gotten loose by literally breaking apart the wooden chair he’d been tied to. Tabby pondered asking Trevor or Matt for a moment but dismissed it. What about Shelley? Like Starla, she was at Speedy’s and wouldn’t be home until later in the day. Even if Shelley was agreeable and didn’t think Tabby’s request was weird, was there really a place with absolute privacy where no one else would walk in on her? Then it hit her. She knew exactly who she might ask and how she’d explain it.
A few minutes later, Tabby was out in the garage. Danny was in the living room playing Space Invaders on the Atari. That would distract him for hours. As she poked around, she rehearsed her explanation in her mind.
Tabby had recalled there was a long thick hemp rope somewhere out there. Several summers ago, there had been a tree house in the front yard of one of the houses where they lived. Initially, it had been used for a tire swing, but the tire was dry rotted and splitting apart and the steel belt was poking through the rubber in several spots and scratched anyone that sat on it. After eventually removing the tire, it became a climbing rope to get to the tree house until her father deemed the rickety structure too rotten and unsafe and made Danny spend a weekend helping him tear it down. The rope had been salvaged and for the rest of the summer, tug of war became a thing with the neighborhood kids at the Blackwells.
The old rope had survived several moves and Karl had found uses for it including securing boxes and luggage to the luggage rack on their old station wagon they’d gotten rid of last year or strapping down the Christmas tree to a borrowed trailer or pickup truck the years they’d opted for a live tree. Ever since then, he’d kept it.
Tabby quickly found and gathered up the coil of rope. It was on a peg above her dad’s work bench where his tools were and would be perfect for securing her arms. There was also a matted ball of thin cord in another box under the bench. It was in a hopeless tangled knot, but Tabby was able to get a good several feet of it or so and cut it with scissors. Finally, she found an old frayed jump rope. One of the yellow handles was missing and a large section had turned into a giant cotton ball. After cutting away the bad end that had come unraveled and removing the other handle, Tabby found it could wrap around her legs about 3 times just above the knees. If pulled tight and knotted, it would be quite secure.
Tabby went back to her room and grabbed her school backpack from her closet which was currently empty. She also took the hacky sack and scarf she used for her gag and grabbed a dark blue bandanna and then went back to the garage for the ropes. Danny was still too busy with his video game to pay any attention to what his sister was doing.
After a few minutes she exited the front door without a word to her brother. She headed down the street and cut between two houses and stopped midway between them across from Gary’s house.
Tabby’s heart sank. The blue and white van was gone, but even more odd was the Trans-Am was sitting in the driveway. Gary must be at Chuck E. Cheese working, but why was Shelley there? Shouldn’t she be at Speedy’s with Starla?
Tabby was about to give up and turn back to go home when she saw Gary’s van pull into the driveway. She paused and watched for a moment between the houses as Gary got out and without hesitation made his way to the front door. Shelley didn’t appear to be with him. Suddenly, it dawned on Tabby that Gary had given Shelley a ride to work. The reason her Trans-Am was still in the driveway was she must not have gotten the new keys yet.
Having dropped Shelley off at Speedy’s, Gary made his way to the front door. Since she still didn’t have her car keys, the Trans-Am was still stuck in the driveway. If they were both lucky, Shelley’s mom got them in the mail in time to make it by the end of the day, however, it was highly probable that they would not arrive until sometime Friday or Saturday.
Gary had decided to give himself the morning off since Matt had requested he not work in the late afternoon and evening because the band was rehearsing once again tonight. Since the Rat Palace had adequate staffing, Gary figured he could wait and go in after he picked up Shelley from work around 2 PM.
The band had been on the 6 o’clock news before last night’s rehearsal. It appeared one of the news crews had shown up at Matt’s house and interviewed them. Shelley wasn’t home at the time because she was working late at the paper, but Gary had made sure that she had seen the repeat at 10. Starla and Tabby would probably tell her all about it at work today.
After cracking open a Tab, Gary put the TV on for background noise and decided he was going to work on his trains and trucks for a while. He really needed to move the setup out of the kitchen and into one of the back bedrooms. Tabby had already indicated she was going to have to go with her family to a fireworks show and probably would not be free to do the game because it was a holiday weekend. Regardless, the track was in the way and taking up the table which meant neither he nor Shelley had a good spot to eat at the moment.
Just then, the doorbell rang. “That must be Shelley’s keys! I didn’t think they’d get here that fast,” Gary declared aloud as he made his way to the front door. It didn’t occur to him that it might be anyone else and the key delivery was the only thing they were expecting. He was quite surprised when he opened it.
“Tabby?” Gary asked in surprise. “How come you aren’t at work with Shelley and Starla?”
“Day off,” Tabby explained quickly. Gary noticed her hair was pulled back in a braid.
“So just come over to hang out,” Gary inquired.
“Uh, kind of,” Tabby replied. She bit her bottom lip and reached toward her shoulder but quickly moved her hand away. Gary realized that Tabby tended to bite her lower lip and twist her hair around her finger when she was nervous. It seemed she’d momentarily forgotten she’d braided it.
“What’s in the backpack,” Gary asked, noticing the bag over the girl’s shoulder.
“Well, I have sort of a weird request,” Tabby began. “I probably need to explain everything before I get to what’s in here.” She glanced at the bag over her shoulder.
“Oh,” Gary said, obviously curious. “Uh, well come in and you can tell me about it.”
He opened the door wider and Tabby entered and made her way into the living room. “So, um, where do I begin,” she mused.
Not quite an hour later, Gary made the last loop around Tabby’s arms with the rope, pulled it tight, and knotted it behind her making sure the knot was well out of reach in the middle of her back.
“Okay, tight enough,” Gary asked her.
“Mmmm hmmm,” Tabby nodded and gave a muffled confirmation. She tested the ropes. They were good and as tight as she’d hoped. Her arms were immobilized and pinned to her sides. She could bend her elbows just enough to keep them from getting stiff but not anywhere near enough to be able to move her hands above her hips.
“Are you sure that’s not going to be too uncomfortable,” He questioned.
Tabby shook her head no. The fact was the ropes were uncomfortable but she was as comfortable as she could be under the circumstances.
“Snap your fingers for me,” Gary instructed.
Tabby was easily to snap the fingers on both hands. She could still move her wrists and wiggle her fingers. When she’d been tied up at the farm, her hands had been duct taped in front of her. Tabby hadn’t been able to use her hands at all, although she told Gary her arms had been bound to her sides with rope, although neither of those statements were true. It was highly unlikely those details would ever come up and Starla had been the only person to witness Tabby tied up and Gary had promised Tabby that this little challenge would remain between the two of them after she explained her intentions.
“Okay,” he said and placed a hand on her shoulder, and walked her to the center of the living room. Gary had grabbed a quilt and spread it out and moved the coffee table to give her plenty of room before they started. Tabby sat down in the middle of the blanket and placed her ankles together.
She had initially also wanted to be blindfolded and placed in the recliner and have it tilted back, simulating the dentist chair or bed from her dream. Gary pointed out that with her laying on the ropes, there was no chance for her to have a shot at getting loose and he was worried about her injuring herself trying to get out of the chair. He also was uncomfortable with the idea of her being blindfolded.
Tabby explained that while she hadn’t been blindfolded in real life, she was in a dark closet and her captors had not turned on the light. Actually locking her in the closet was too claustrophobic and the lack of air circulation, particularly in the summer, would be too hot. There was also the factor that Gary needed to watch her for safety reasons.
The lack of any flowing air was probably the single most uncomfortable factor of her captivity besides her aching jaw after several hours of having the hacky sack in her mouth. The whole ordeal had been pretty miserable and there really had not been anything enjoyable about it. Tabby had hated every moment of it which is exactly why she was doing this to herself, though she hadn’t shared that part with Gary.
Tabby thought a better way to simulate the darkness was to be blindfolded. Her real motive was so she wouldn’t be able to see a clock or anything else that might offer a clue as to how much time had passed. She could also focus on all of the images she wanted to relive in her mind; her family and friends seeing her bound and gagged, Coach North and Marie lecturing her with her unable to respond, images of being in a hospital or the dentist’s chair completely strapped down and unable to move.
Although Gary had been less than enthusiastic about Tabby gagging herself, he was even more worried about her rolling into the fireplace or a piece of furniture and falling into it and cracking her head open if she couldn’t see. Tabby had wanted to put the gag on herself and since she couldn’t do that without her hands being free, it had to be done first. That meant that they had to cover all the rules and contingencies before Gary bound her arms.
Tabby assured him if she had any trouble breathing or anything, she would signal him by snapping her fingers repeatedly. If she did that, he was supposed to loosen her gag immediately to see what she needed before untying anything else.
Gary took the cotton cord and bound Tabby’s ankles together with it and used the old jump rope to tie her upper legs above the knees in the way she had described. She tested the bonds and they were plenty tight. She could bend her knees, but her legs were kept together.
“Is this what you wanted,” Gary asked.
“Mmmm hmmm,” Tabby managed again with a nod. She was turned so her back was facing the kitchen. Gary removed the clock hanging on the wall by the sliding glass door leading to the backyard and turned the TV off. He was going to set the timer on the stove, which she wouldn’t be able to see anyway, since the edge of the kitchen wall obscured the view.
He checked her ropes one last time and made his way back to the kitchen. “Okay, right here if you need me,” Gary told her. Tabby heard a few beeps. “Okay, timer is set. Good luck, Penelope Pitstop… and Go!!”
Having dropped Shelley off at Speedy’s, Gary made his way to the front door. Since she still didn’t have her car keys, the Trans-Am was still stuck in the driveway. If they were both lucky, Shelley’s mom got them in the mail in time to make it by the end of the day, however, it was highly probable that they would not arrive until sometime Friday or Saturday.
Gary had decided to give himself the morning off since Matt had requested he not work in the late afternoon and evening because the band was rehearsing once again tonight. Since the Rat Palace had adequate staffing, Gary figured he could wait and go in after he picked up Shelley from work around 2 PM.
The band had been on the 6 o’clock news before last night’s rehearsal. It appeared one of the news crews had shown up at Matt’s house and interviewed them. Shelley wasn’t home at the time because she was working late at the paper, but Gary had made sure that she had seen the repeat at 10. Starla and Tabby would probably tell her all about it at work today.
After cracking open a Tab, Gary put the TV on for background noise and decided he was going to work on his trains and trucks for a while. He really needed to move the setup out of the kitchen and into one of the back bedrooms. Tabby had already indicated she was going to have to go with her family to a fireworks show and probably would not be free to do the game because it was a holiday weekend. Regardless, the track was in the way and taking up the table which meant neither he nor Shelley had a good spot to eat at the moment.
Just then, the doorbell rang. “That must be Shelley’s keys! I didn’t think they’d get here that fast,” Gary declared aloud as he made his way to the front door. It didn’t occur to him that it might be anyone else and the key delivery was the only thing they were expecting. He was quite surprised when he opened it.
“Tabby?” Gary asked in surprise. “How come you aren’t at work with Shelley and Starla?”
“Day off,” Tabby explained quickly. Gary noticed her hair was pulled back in a braid.
“So just come over to hang out,” Gary inquired.
“Uh, kind of,” Tabby replied. She bit her bottom lip and reached toward her shoulder but quickly moved her hand away. Gary realized that Tabby tended to bite her lower lip and twist her hair around her finger when she was nervous. It seemed she’d momentarily forgotten she’d braided it.
“What’s in the backpack,” Gary asked, noticing the bag over the girl’s shoulder.
“Well, I have sort of a weird request,” Tabby began. “I probably need to explain everything before I get to what’s in here.” She glanced at the bag over her shoulder.
“Oh,” Gary said, obviously curious. “Uh, well come in and you can tell me about it.”
He opened the door wider and Tabby entered and made her way into the living room. “So, um, where do I begin,” she mused.
Not quite an hour later, Gary made the last loop around Tabby’s arms with the rope, pulled it tight, and knotted it behind her making sure the knot was well out of reach in the middle of her back.
“Okay, tight enough,” Gary asked her.
“Mmmm hmmm,” Tabby nodded and gave a muffled confirmation. She tested the ropes. They were good and as tight as she’d hoped. Her arms were immobilized and pinned to her sides. She could bend her elbows just enough to keep them from getting stiff but not anywhere near enough to be able to move her hands above her hips.
“Are you sure that’s not going to be too uncomfortable,” He questioned.
Tabby shook her head no. The fact was the ropes were uncomfortable but she was as comfortable as she could be under the circumstances.
“Snap your fingers for me,” Gary instructed.
Tabby was easily to snap the fingers on both hands. She could still move her wrists and wiggle her fingers. When she’d been tied up at the farm, her hands had been duct taped in front of her. Tabby hadn’t been able to use her hands at all, although she told Gary her arms had been bound to her sides with rope, although neither of those statements were true. It was highly unlikely those details would ever come up and Starla had been the only person to witness Tabby tied up and Gary had promised Tabby that this little challenge would remain between the two of them after she explained her intentions.
“Okay,” he said and placed a hand on her shoulder, and walked her to the center of the living room. Gary had grabbed a quilt and spread it out and moved the coffee table to give her plenty of room before they started. Tabby sat down in the middle of the blanket and placed her ankles together.
She had initially also wanted to be blindfolded and placed in the recliner and have it tilted back, simulating the dentist chair or bed from her dream. Gary pointed out that with her laying on the ropes, there was no chance for her to have a shot at getting loose and he was worried about her injuring herself trying to get out of the chair. He also was uncomfortable with the idea of her being blindfolded.
Tabby explained that while she hadn’t been blindfolded in real life, she was in a dark closet and her captors had not turned on the light. Actually locking her in the closet was too claustrophobic and the lack of air circulation, particularly in the summer, would be too hot. There was also the factor that Gary needed to watch her for safety reasons.
The lack of any flowing air was probably the single most uncomfortable factor of her captivity besides her aching jaw after several hours of having the hacky sack in her mouth. The whole ordeal had been pretty miserable and there really had not been anything enjoyable about it. Tabby had hated every moment of it which is exactly why she was doing this to herself, though she hadn’t shared that part with Gary.
Tabby thought a better way to simulate the darkness was to be blindfolded. Her real motive was so she wouldn’t be able to see a clock or anything else that might offer a clue as to how much time had passed. She could also focus on all of the images she wanted to relive in her mind; her family and friends seeing her bound and gagged, Coach North and Marie lecturing her with her unable to respond, images of being in a hospital or the dentist’s chair completely strapped down and unable to move.
Although Gary had been less than enthusiastic about Tabby gagging herself, he was even more worried about her rolling into the fireplace or a piece of furniture and falling into it and cracking her head open if she couldn’t see. Tabby had wanted to put the gag on herself and since she couldn’t do that without her hands being free, it had to be done first. That meant that they had to cover all the rules and contingencies before Gary bound her arms.
Tabby assured him if she had any trouble breathing or anything, she would signal him by snapping her fingers repeatedly. If she did that, he was supposed to loosen her gag immediately to see what she needed before untying anything else.
Gary took the cotton cord and bound Tabby’s ankles together with it and used the old jump rope to tie her upper legs above the knees in the way she had described. She tested the bonds and they were plenty tight. She could bend her knees, but her legs were kept together.
“Is this what you wanted,” Gary asked.
“Mmmm hmmm,” Tabby managed again with a nod. She was turned so her back was facing the kitchen. Gary removed the clock hanging on the wall by the sliding glass door leading to the backyard and turned the TV off. He was going to set the timer on the stove, which she wouldn’t be able to see anyway, since the edge of the kitchen wall obscured the view.
He checked her ropes one last time and made his way back to the kitchen. “Okay, right here if you need me,” Gary told her. Tabby heard a few beeps. “Okay, timer is set. Good luck, Penelope Pitstop… and Go!!”
Okay, right here if you need me,” Gary told her. Tabby heard a few beeps. “Okay, timer is set. Good luck, Penelope Pitstop… and Go!!”
Tabby just gave a nod but didn't attempt to say anything. Her back was to the kitchen. She had no intention of actually trying to escape, but testing the restraints, she highly doubted she'd be able to free herself even if that was the goal. She just stared ahead at the wall.
It had been hard to really focus on putting herself in any kind of situation in her mind as Gary had tied her up. In a perfect world, the gag would have been last, but she had wanted to do that part herself. She now found it difficult to reimagine a situation playing out the part where she was being bound. As much as Tabby wanted to picture herself fighting back, she knew in reality that just like on the farm, she was too afraid to resist.
She eased herself from a sitting position onto her side and then rolled onto her back. This was part of the reason she hadn't wanted her hands tied so she wouldn't be lying on her wrists. Tabby then closed her eyes, trying to picture herself waking up to find herself restrained.
In reality, she'd freak out and thrash around and would try to get someone's attention by making noise anyway she could. Tabby kind of wished Gary wasn't there watching her because it would seem weird if she tried to do that. She briefly regretted not asking him to roleplay this out like a kidnapping but that would have been awkward as well.
After a few minutes of reflection, Tabby realized this still wasn't quite going to get what she had pictured out of this, but it was going to be as good as it got. Since she wasn't in a bed or tied down, it didn't seem to really work for her to imagine being in that situation. She slowly rocked her shoulders to see if the ropes around her arm would slide at all, but they held in place.
Tabby could still bend her knees and bring her feet toward her to a point or extend her legs all the way out and lie in a plank position. She decided to give up on playing out any sort of storyline or roleplaying in her head and just lie there. After all, that was the actual punishment.
After a little while, she rolled over on her stomach to watch Gary who saw her immediately and asked if she was okay. After indicating she was and watching him work on his trucks and trains for a few she tried to roll herself back to where she was sitting up to see if she could get at the cord tied around her ankles. The knot was in a position she couldn't get to. Her assumption had been that she'd be able to rotate the ropes around to get it in reach, but she was unable to do it.
The rest of the time was spent changing different positions to releave the aches of being in one position too long. Finally, after an eternity, she heard a ding.
"Times up," Gary announced. "Had enough?"
Tabby nodded. She wasn't sure what she'd accomplished but it hadn't really at all been what she was expecting.
Tabby just gave a nod but didn't attempt to say anything. Her back was to the kitchen. She had no intention of actually trying to escape, but testing the restraints, she highly doubted she'd be able to free herself even if that was the goal. She just stared ahead at the wall.
It had been hard to really focus on putting herself in any kind of situation in her mind as Gary had tied her up. In a perfect world, the gag would have been last, but she had wanted to do that part herself. She now found it difficult to reimagine a situation playing out the part where she was being bound. As much as Tabby wanted to picture herself fighting back, she knew in reality that just like on the farm, she was too afraid to resist.
She eased herself from a sitting position onto her side and then rolled onto her back. This was part of the reason she hadn't wanted her hands tied so she wouldn't be lying on her wrists. Tabby then closed her eyes, trying to picture herself waking up to find herself restrained.
In reality, she'd freak out and thrash around and would try to get someone's attention by making noise anyway she could. Tabby kind of wished Gary wasn't there watching her because it would seem weird if she tried to do that. She briefly regretted not asking him to roleplay this out like a kidnapping but that would have been awkward as well.
After a few minutes of reflection, Tabby realized this still wasn't quite going to get what she had pictured out of this, but it was going to be as good as it got. Since she wasn't in a bed or tied down, it didn't seem to really work for her to imagine being in that situation. She slowly rocked her shoulders to see if the ropes around her arm would slide at all, but they held in place.
Tabby could still bend her knees and bring her feet toward her to a point or extend her legs all the way out and lie in a plank position. She decided to give up on playing out any sort of storyline or roleplaying in her head and just lie there. After all, that was the actual punishment.
After a little while, she rolled over on her stomach to watch Gary who saw her immediately and asked if she was okay. After indicating she was and watching him work on his trucks and trains for a few she tried to roll herself back to where she was sitting up to see if she could get at the cord tied around her ankles. The knot was in a position she couldn't get to. Her assumption had been that she'd be able to rotate the ropes around to get it in reach, but she was unable to do it.
The rest of the time was spent changing different positions to releave the aches of being in one position too long. Finally, after an eternity, she heard a ding.
"Times up," Gary announced. "Had enough?"
Tabby nodded. She wasn't sure what she'd accomplished but it hadn't really at all been what she was expecting.
Prior to Tabby showing up, Gary had decided to take the trains and trucks down. If he was going to keep them up permanently, he needed to find a better spot than the kitchen table. After tying Tabby up and making sure she was okay, he began to gather up the trains and vehicles and begin dismantling the track for both.
Perhaps once it cooled down outside, he could clean out the garage finally and set it up in there or maybe find a better spot in the spare bedroom. He glanced in Tabby's direction every so often. She spent several minutes unmoving and facing the wall. After a little while she flopped over on her back and tried to get at the ropes around her legs and ankles but seemed to have difficulty.
She finally rolled onto her stomach and stared at him. "Are you still okay," Gary asked her. He was afraid he'd done a bit too good of a job with the ropes and knots. She nodded and just lay there watching him. Gary felt a little awkward staring at her and refocusing his attention back on the trains. He was repacking them in their boxes. He wondered if his watching her made her uncomfortable.
It felt odd not trying to carry on a conversation, but Tabby was unable to speak and couldn't reply back so that might be even more uncomfortable than trying to have a one-sided one. After about an hour, it seemed she had given up and was shifting positions so she didn't get too stiff.
About the time Gary had everything boxed up, there was a ding. The timer had gone off and it was time to release Tabby. He was sure she was anxious to be untied.
"Times up," Gary announced. "Had enough?"
Tabby nodded. About that time, the Burlington Northern came rolling through blasting its horn behind the house. Gary paused to look out the windows to see how many engines were on the lead. The train appeared to be truck trailers on the backs of flatcars.
Tabby made an unintelligible mumble. Gary suddenly turned to her. "Oh yes! I best untie you," Gary said quickly. "I bet everything is starting to hurt."
He got behind her and began unknotting the scarf over her mouth. A moment later, she spit it out. "I bet that's the longest you've ever heard me be quiet," were Tabby's first words.
"I bet Trevor and Matt would have enjoyed this," He replied with a chuckle but quickly added. "But don't worry, they won't know about it."
He quickly moved to untying Tabby's arms. A few minutes later, she was free and standing. Tabby walked around the room for a few minutes to get her blood flowing again. "I guess I'm not cut out to be an escape artist," Tabby mused. "Well, I just wanted to prove to myself that there was nothing I could have done differently. I'm just glad Starla was able to get free."
A few minutes later, she helped Gary gather his train set up and moved them to the closet in the spare bedroom. She looked at the slot cars Starla had custom-made and still wished they'd had an orange slugbug to run off the track.
"So sticking around awhile," Gary asked. "Do you want to go with me when I get Shelley from work?" It had not quite been an hour since she'd been untied. She checked her arms again and the redness and pressure marks seemed to be mostly gone.
"I need to get home. We have band practice in a little bit," Tabby explained as she gathered the ropes up into her backpack.
Tabby thanked Gary again and hoped that her request hadn't been too weird. She cut through the houses on the way back to her house to her own street. Danny was still playing with the Atari when Tabby walked in. From the sounds of it, the current game was Asteroids. Her brother paid Tabby no mind. She headed to the garage and put the rope back where she found it, including the cord and jump rope.
She grabbed a utility knife and went to her room. After putting away the scarf, unused bandana, and backpack, Tabby took the hacky sack and stabbed it several times with the knife before shredding it. It didn't really offer her any therapy or closure, but it felt slightly good nonetheless. "Take that," She said as she scooped up the beans, stuffing, and outer layer and dropped them in the trash.
Tabby's only conclusion was she hoped to never be tied up again and would definitely not offer that suggestion up should she still be here when the initiation happened for the cheerleading squad.
Perhaps once it cooled down outside, he could clean out the garage finally and set it up in there or maybe find a better spot in the spare bedroom. He glanced in Tabby's direction every so often. She spent several minutes unmoving and facing the wall. After a little while she flopped over on her back and tried to get at the ropes around her legs and ankles but seemed to have difficulty.
She finally rolled onto her stomach and stared at him. "Are you still okay," Gary asked her. He was afraid he'd done a bit too good of a job with the ropes and knots. She nodded and just lay there watching him. Gary felt a little awkward staring at her and refocusing his attention back on the trains. He was repacking them in their boxes. He wondered if his watching her made her uncomfortable.
It felt odd not trying to carry on a conversation, but Tabby was unable to speak and couldn't reply back so that might be even more uncomfortable than trying to have a one-sided one. After about an hour, it seemed she had given up and was shifting positions so she didn't get too stiff.
About the time Gary had everything boxed up, there was a ding. The timer had gone off and it was time to release Tabby. He was sure she was anxious to be untied.
"Times up," Gary announced. "Had enough?"
Tabby nodded. About that time, the Burlington Northern came rolling through blasting its horn behind the house. Gary paused to look out the windows to see how many engines were on the lead. The train appeared to be truck trailers on the backs of flatcars.
Tabby made an unintelligible mumble. Gary suddenly turned to her. "Oh yes! I best untie you," Gary said quickly. "I bet everything is starting to hurt."
He got behind her and began unknotting the scarf over her mouth. A moment later, she spit it out. "I bet that's the longest you've ever heard me be quiet," were Tabby's first words.
"I bet Trevor and Matt would have enjoyed this," He replied with a chuckle but quickly added. "But don't worry, they won't know about it."
He quickly moved to untying Tabby's arms. A few minutes later, she was free and standing. Tabby walked around the room for a few minutes to get her blood flowing again. "I guess I'm not cut out to be an escape artist," Tabby mused. "Well, I just wanted to prove to myself that there was nothing I could have done differently. I'm just glad Starla was able to get free."
A few minutes later, she helped Gary gather his train set up and moved them to the closet in the spare bedroom. She looked at the slot cars Starla had custom-made and still wished they'd had an orange slugbug to run off the track.
"So sticking around awhile," Gary asked. "Do you want to go with me when I get Shelley from work?" It had not quite been an hour since she'd been untied. She checked her arms again and the redness and pressure marks seemed to be mostly gone.
"I need to get home. We have band practice in a little bit," Tabby explained as she gathered the ropes up into her backpack.
Tabby thanked Gary again and hoped that her request hadn't been too weird. She cut through the houses on the way back to her house to her own street. Danny was still playing with the Atari when Tabby walked in. From the sounds of it, the current game was Asteroids. Her brother paid Tabby no mind. She headed to the garage and put the rope back where she found it, including the cord and jump rope.
She grabbed a utility knife and went to her room. After putting away the scarf, unused bandana, and backpack, Tabby took the hacky sack and stabbed it several times with the knife before shredding it. It didn't really offer her any therapy or closure, but it felt slightly good nonetheless. "Take that," She said as she scooped up the beans, stuffing, and outer layer and dropped them in the trash.
Tabby's only conclusion was she hoped to never be tied up again and would definitely not offer that suggestion up should she still be here when the initiation happened for the cheerleading squad.
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