Posted by Steven (played by Robo-Craig) April 25th 2021, 12:39pm
Step City Live was the only joint hot news and gossip production between the two main rival groups on the island. No one really knew why DJ Jerri - a Disco dude who had been on one too many benders this year and Lairy Kerry- a flashy UG cybergoth worked together for their hour slot. Maybe it was because with their combined networking power they were able to get the hottest of goss - an impossible feat for any one stepper, but it made for fun entertainment and the constant prospect of an on-air throwdown was simply too tantalizing to resist.
The Livestream had been rolling for about 20 minutes now, going over the hottest trends, who had broken up with who, and the hot political topics that were always a powder keg of tension for the co-hosts.
“-UG has been having quite a tough time. Not only have they not been able to keep a Leader in for more than a few months since Steve-O died 6 years ago, but they’ve also been steadily losing ground since the Mafia’s Grand Acquisition of OPP in X108. Also, no one has figured out what that bright flash of light was over the East Coast which resulted in a several-hour blackout three weeks ago. Such a mess.” DJ Jerri shook his head in mock sympathy before he hummed happily to his UG counterpart. “You live on the East Coast, don't you Kerry?”
“You know I do, Jerri.” Kerry said curtly, as they threw a charming but venomous smile at their Mafia co-host. “But unlike Funk Mafia, our community pulled together to help those in need. Plus it’ll take more than a little sabotage to break UG apart.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, Kerry. Mafia has made no claims over causing that so please stop spreading your little conspiracies-”
“Getting a little defensive there, Jerri. Did I say Mafia did it?”
“I swear to all that is Gloria Gaynor, I will put you in the dirt if you start this again-”
Before the SC Live faithful could get a glimpse of that juicy drama that they all secretly tuned in for the feed was momentarily cut, then replaced with a fresh transmission.
‘We interrupt this broadcast with live breaking news from UGHQ!’
The screen faded to black as a low, bassy voice began to speak.
“Steppers and non-steppers, beat freaks of all ages, please welcome - from parts unknown. Coming in at 196 pounds. Returning for a 2nd term, the dopest, the nicest, the most explosive leader of UG:
The no. 1 Prodigal Son
AKA
Sun-Eater
AKA
Ozric Resurrected
AKA
The baddest dude to ever groove
AKA
The clenched fist of justice
AKA
Heir to the cyclonic arts
AKA
Formerly known as Steve-O-Rizzle
AKA
The RIZZ
Put your hands together for Steven!
“Hey there to my fellow UG, respectable Squares, Bastardly Banditos and Scum Sucking Mafia. It’s your boy, Steven back from the great beyond with a fresh new look.”
“So let’s address the elephant in the room. I’m not dead, not anymore. I know you had a funeral for me 6 years ago when I ‘mysteriously died’, but y’all got baited - I. Can. Never. Die.. I’ve been out of pocket for a little longer than the 6 years you supposed.”
“You remember 8 years ago where everyone's vibe got switched up for months? Some of you might have seen me ‘teleporting’ around through these little void pocket dimensions....”
“A real messy time. Well, during then some things got uncovered. “Mafia, in all their ‘infinite wisdom’’ were keeping a nasty little secret.”
“You all remember James Cornell? One of the two heroes of The Scientist Rebellion of X089 who later fell from grace when he became the sole founder of the authoritative dictatorship known as Funk Mafia. The same James who we all thought perished in the War of ‘99?”
“Well, they were keeping that body jacking, spectral son of a bitch alive!”
“And not only that, Mafia’s previous Don, may she rest in piss, got herself possessed by him!
“They tried to flood UG, they tried to kill me. He was hell-bent on using Bonita’s powers to destroy everything we’ve created for ourselves.”
“So even though my vibe was all out of whack, I fought them. There was… a lot of fallout. Who knew fighting a possessed gravity user in a pocket dimension could be so messy?!”
“So after fighting for our lives, we finally ripped that phantasmal shitter James outta the Don. We were beat up, bruised and ya know how lucky I am. My vibe was switching up again. And you’d think ‘Ah Bonita would help me close up all these tears in space that “she” made after I just saved her puppet stringed ass?’”
“Well, I guess I paid the price for that.”
“So instead of possibly those tears getting bigger and consuming the island, I closed them with what little vibe I had left. I closed every little tear in on myself because why did all of you have to suffer because of James?”
“Because of Bonita?”
“Because of me?”
“...”
“Not on my fucking watch.”
“Sigh. So where have I been all these years?”
“Not here. For 8 years I was vibeless and alone on an island not too different from this one... except I guess I wasn’t fully alone.”
“Ha. I guess we know where one of those tears led.”
...
“All because I thought if times were dire enough, Mafia would do the right thing.”
...
“But we all paid the price for that.”
…
“Never again.”
“I have seen the damage the Mafia has done since I’ve been ‘dead’. They’ve stolen our Clubs. Gentrified out streets. Desecrated the home of the first Waffle Noms. ‘Tamed’ our plants-our fucking food that we spent so much blood and sweat, nurturing.”
“And I’ve seen the resilience of UG. You’ve been fighting for so long and they couldn’t crush your spirits, your drive for autonomy. You've been surviving for so long now and I respect that. But surviving isn’t living”
“Funk Mafia do their damndest to take and take and take from us till there’s nothing left. We all have the scars to prove it. They’ll keep squashing anyone and everyone who dares have the audacity to even question if their way is the right one”
“So...Why are they so afraid of us?”
“Maybe we should remind them why they should be.”
-End of Transmission-
The Livestream had been rolling for about 20 minutes now, going over the hottest trends, who had broken up with who, and the hot political topics that were always a powder keg of tension for the co-hosts.
“-UG has been having quite a tough time. Not only have they not been able to keep a Leader in for more than a few months since Steve-O died 6 years ago, but they’ve also been steadily losing ground since the Mafia’s Grand Acquisition of OPP in X108. Also, no one has figured out what that bright flash of light was over the East Coast which resulted in a several-hour blackout three weeks ago. Such a mess.” DJ Jerri shook his head in mock sympathy before he hummed happily to his UG counterpart. “You live on the East Coast, don't you Kerry?”
“You know I do, Jerri.” Kerry said curtly, as they threw a charming but venomous smile at their Mafia co-host. “But unlike Funk Mafia, our community pulled together to help those in need. Plus it’ll take more than a little sabotage to break UG apart.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, Kerry. Mafia has made no claims over causing that so please stop spreading your little conspiracies-”
“Getting a little defensive there, Jerri. Did I say Mafia did it?”
“I swear to all that is Gloria Gaynor, I will put you in the dirt if you start this again-”
Before the SC Live faithful could get a glimpse of that juicy drama that they all secretly tuned in for the feed was momentarily cut, then replaced with a fresh transmission.
‘We interrupt this broadcast with live breaking news from UGHQ!’
The screen faded to black as a low, bassy voice began to speak.
“Steppers and non-steppers, beat freaks of all ages, please welcome - from parts unknown. Coming in at 196 pounds. Returning for a 2nd term, the dopest, the nicest, the most explosive leader of UG:
The no. 1 Prodigal Son
AKA
Sun-Eater
AKA
Ozric Resurrected
AKA
The baddest dude to ever groove
AKA
The clenched fist of justice
AKA
Heir to the cyclonic arts
AKA
Formerly known as Steve-O-Rizzle
AKA
The RIZZ
Put your hands together for Steven!
“Hey there to my fellow UG, respectable Squares, Bastardly Banditos and Scum Sucking Mafia. It’s your boy, Steven back from the great beyond with a fresh new look.”
“So let’s address the elephant in the room. I’m not dead, not anymore. I know you had a funeral for me 6 years ago when I ‘mysteriously died’, but y’all got baited - I. Can. Never. Die.. I’ve been out of pocket for a little longer than the 6 years you supposed.”
“You remember 8 years ago where everyone's vibe got switched up for months? Some of you might have seen me ‘teleporting’ around through these little void pocket dimensions....”
“A real messy time. Well, during then some things got uncovered. “Mafia, in all their ‘infinite wisdom’’ were keeping a nasty little secret.”
“You all remember James Cornell? One of the two heroes of The Scientist Rebellion of X089 who later fell from grace when he became the sole founder of the authoritative dictatorship known as Funk Mafia. The same James who we all thought perished in the War of ‘99?”
“Well, they were keeping that body jacking, spectral son of a bitch alive!”
“And not only that, Mafia’s previous Don, may she rest in piss, got herself possessed by him!
“They tried to flood UG, they tried to kill me. He was hell-bent on using Bonita’s powers to destroy everything we’ve created for ourselves.”
“So even though my vibe was all out of whack, I fought them. There was… a lot of fallout. Who knew fighting a possessed gravity user in a pocket dimension could be so messy?!”
“So after fighting for our lives, we finally ripped that phantasmal shitter James outta the Don. We were beat up, bruised and ya know how lucky I am. My vibe was switching up again. And you’d think ‘Ah Bonita would help me close up all these tears in space that “she” made after I just saved her puppet stringed ass?’”
“Well, I guess I paid the price for that.”
“So instead of possibly those tears getting bigger and consuming the island, I closed them with what little vibe I had left. I closed every little tear in on myself because why did all of you have to suffer because of James?”
“Because of Bonita?”
“Because of me?”
“...”
“Not on my fucking watch.”
“Sigh. So where have I been all these years?”
“Not here. For 8 years I was vibeless and alone on an island not too different from this one... except I guess I wasn’t fully alone.”
“Ha. I guess we know where one of those tears led.”
...
“All because I thought if times were dire enough, Mafia would do the right thing.”
...
“But we all paid the price for that.”
…
“Never again.”
“I have seen the damage the Mafia has done since I’ve been ‘dead’. They’ve stolen our Clubs. Gentrified out streets. Desecrated the home of the first Waffle Noms. ‘Tamed’ our plants-our fucking food that we spent so much blood and sweat, nurturing.”
“And I’ve seen the resilience of UG. You’ve been fighting for so long and they couldn’t crush your spirits, your drive for autonomy. You've been surviving for so long now and I respect that. But surviving isn’t living”
“Funk Mafia do their damndest to take and take and take from us till there’s nothing left. We all have the scars to prove it. They’ll keep squashing anyone and everyone who dares have the audacity to even question if their way is the right one”
“So...Why are they so afraid of us?”
“Maybe we should remind them why they should be.”
-End of Transmission-
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