The bars weren't as crowded as usual. WIth a beer in hand, Loran turned himself around and took a swig while he watched what few people there were in the building mingle with strangers. He was just here to forget his problems. He had work in the morning at the coffee shop, but right now, he didn't really care. He could smell the alcohol and the smoke of the cigarettes that rose to the ceiling and circulated with the wind that drifted through the opened windows. The scenery was old school. Booths upholstered with with faded green leather and oak tables that were bolted to the ground and losing their varnish. The windows were at the top of the walls much like the windows of a basement, and it was dim, to let people drown their sorrows in a place cut away from the light so that they could think. He liked the bar, the soothing music and the bittersweet sting of beer dripping down his throat as it warmed him from the inside out.
"Another cup, Jimmy." Loran said nonchalantly, his back against the counter as he finished off the cup in his hand and slammed it on the glossy mahogany bar. The barkeep slid the man another mug and used a cloth to wipe out the countertop. It was a strained relationship they had, but Loran didn't complain. He rubbed his head, his rustic red hair flailing under his tanned hand and his honey coloured eyes clouded with a mixture of guilt and rage. One day this would pass... But for now, Loran didn't really want to think about others. How his mood was effecting them. He just wanted to forget.
"You know, it's been three months… Wouldn't hurt to give dating a try." Jimmy encouraged lightly, his bow tie now hung loosely around his neck, untied and a little sloppy now that it was so late at night. Loran didn't pay the comment any mind, though. He was still pretty depressed, trying to find some way to accept what happened before he drove himself to madness. He just chugged his beer and swivelled around to face the counter, tempted to lay his head down and take a nap where he sat.
It took him a while, but eventually he opened his mouth to speak. "Sorry, Jim. I don't think I'm ready for it. I mean really." He grumbled, crossing his arms against the counter and laying his head against them. "And can't I just come down here for some drinks in peace with an old friend? Like you said, it's been three months... I'm fine." He said lowly, looking down at the silver ring that hung on a chain around his neck, holding it in the palm of his hand and rubbing his thumb over the inscription.
"Another cup, Jimmy." Loran said nonchalantly, his back against the counter as he finished off the cup in his hand and slammed it on the glossy mahogany bar. The barkeep slid the man another mug and used a cloth to wipe out the countertop. It was a strained relationship they had, but Loran didn't complain. He rubbed his head, his rustic red hair flailing under his tanned hand and his honey coloured eyes clouded with a mixture of guilt and rage. One day this would pass... But for now, Loran didn't really want to think about others. How his mood was effecting them. He just wanted to forget.
"You know, it's been three months… Wouldn't hurt to give dating a try." Jimmy encouraged lightly, his bow tie now hung loosely around his neck, untied and a little sloppy now that it was so late at night. Loran didn't pay the comment any mind, though. He was still pretty depressed, trying to find some way to accept what happened before he drove himself to madness. He just chugged his beer and swivelled around to face the counter, tempted to lay his head down and take a nap where he sat.
It took him a while, but eventually he opened his mouth to speak. "Sorry, Jim. I don't think I'm ready for it. I mean really." He grumbled, crossing his arms against the counter and laying his head against them. "And can't I just come down here for some drinks in peace with an old friend? Like you said, it's been three months... I'm fine." He said lowly, looking down at the silver ring that hung on a chain around his neck, holding it in the palm of his hand and rubbing his thumb over the inscription.
Anastasia had grown tired of the usual clubs and bars, they were all so loud and the targets were all too easy, it was no fun if she couldn't find one that held a challenge. She knew that it was sadistic to think that way but it was the truth. She thought it might be better to try to learn more about a target before killing them, she didn't have a soft spot for men at all, she just wanted to change things up, was that so bad? Well, maybe it was, but she didn't care.
After walking for about an hour, she found this bar that looked to be a quiet place and thought it would be a good idea to try this place out. She walked in, though she felt a bit out of place and noticeable. Her long black hair was pulled but into a tight braid as her red eyes looked over the place. Most of the people looked like they have seen the sun more than she has with her strangely pale complexion. She wore a simple pair of skinny jeans with a few tears in them, a black shirt with a small heart over where her's was or at least should be and a black leather jacket that ended at her waist.
She sat down at the bar a couple sits away form the redhead and when the bartender came to her, she asked for a shot of vodka. She didn't care much for beer since it was weak to her and a whole bottle of it wouldn't make her tipsy so she always went for vodka to just ease up and relax a bit. The place seem actually a lot better to her than the other places, not too many people and the music wasn't some stupid song that just repeated the chorus a hundred times with two or three verses. She took of her leather jacket and let it rest on the back of her chair.
After walking for about an hour, she found this bar that looked to be a quiet place and thought it would be a good idea to try this place out. She walked in, though she felt a bit out of place and noticeable. Her long black hair was pulled but into a tight braid as her red eyes looked over the place. Most of the people looked like they have seen the sun more than she has with her strangely pale complexion. She wore a simple pair of skinny jeans with a few tears in them, a black shirt with a small heart over where her's was or at least should be and a black leather jacket that ended at her waist.
She sat down at the bar a couple sits away form the redhead and when the bartender came to her, she asked for a shot of vodka. She didn't care much for beer since it was weak to her and a whole bottle of it wouldn't make her tipsy so she always went for vodka to just ease up and relax a bit. The place seem actually a lot better to her than the other places, not too many people and the music wasn't some stupid song that just repeated the chorus a hundred times with two or three verses. She took of her leather jacket and let it rest on the back of her chair.
It was hard to get over this kind of thing... Losing someone you were willing to change your whole perspective for. Loran couldn't handle it again. He pressed his hands to his face, taking a nice deep breath before taking another gulp of beer. Jim wasn't one to sit idly by and watch someone destroy themselves. After serving the newcomer, Jim returned to Loran's side and flicked his forehead, only to get a grunt of distain before shaking his head and returning to his drink, unable to put a smile on his face.
"What happened to high school Lin? Breaking hearts everywhere he went?" Jim chuckled before nodding over at another customer and starting to prepare his drink.
"Shut up... At least wait till I'm drunk before saying something that dumb." Loran said back, returning a brief smirk before his face fell. It was hard to smile while thinking about what he did. About how it was his fault that he was losing everything that was important to him. Maybe he shouldn't even be here. What is Jim was in danger as well? It hurt to think about, his thumb rubbing the inscription on the ring around his neck. "I'm gonna go."
"At least flirt with someone. You haven't even looked at a girl since... You know." Jim said, nudging his head towards the brunette that just came in.
Loran was quiet, turning his head to look at the girl that Jimmy was trying to point out to him... She was pretty, sure... But he wasn't in the mood to sleep around. He was past being an asshole. He wanted his Lilith back... But she couldn't return from the place that she had gone. "I'm not that kind of person anymore."
"I didn't mean-"
"I know what you meant. Just pass me another. I'm not even getting a buzz." Loran said, glancing over at the girl again. He had spent all of high school picking fights and dating. He's cheated on girls, used people, even taken a few lives in the process with his gang, but now that was just his past. And all he wanted to do was forget and start anew.
"What happened to high school Lin? Breaking hearts everywhere he went?" Jim chuckled before nodding over at another customer and starting to prepare his drink.
"Shut up... At least wait till I'm drunk before saying something that dumb." Loran said back, returning a brief smirk before his face fell. It was hard to smile while thinking about what he did. About how it was his fault that he was losing everything that was important to him. Maybe he shouldn't even be here. What is Jim was in danger as well? It hurt to think about, his thumb rubbing the inscription on the ring around his neck. "I'm gonna go."
"At least flirt with someone. You haven't even looked at a girl since... You know." Jim said, nudging his head towards the brunette that just came in.
Loran was quiet, turning his head to look at the girl that Jimmy was trying to point out to him... She was pretty, sure... But he wasn't in the mood to sleep around. He was past being an asshole. He wanted his Lilith back... But she couldn't return from the place that she had gone. "I'm not that kind of person anymore."
"I didn't mean-"
"I know what you meant. Just pass me another. I'm not even getting a buzz." Loran said, glancing over at the girl again. He had spent all of high school picking fights and dating. He's cheated on girls, used people, even taken a few lives in the process with his gang, but now that was just his past. And all he wanted to do was forget and start anew.
Ana had listened in more on what the bartender had said. Looks like I found a target~ She thought with a small smile. She listened and waited for the right moment before looking at the man only a couple sits away form her, giving a friendly smile. "Then maybe you should try something stronger than just beer, vodka and whiskey tend to help the most in getting drunk quickly, if that is what you are looking for." She made sure her voice sounded sweet and kind, though the intent behind it was neither.
She didn't care much for his reasons of hurting others or if he had suffered for it already, she would do what she wanted to make sure that every last tear spent over him was repaid with every drop of his blood that left his body when she was done. Though it did accrue to her, would he put up a fight? By the looks of things, he wouldn't even stop her or be surprised even. That was no fun, looks like toying with him a bit would stir more in him. It was all determined on him taking the bait she was offering, but the bait would have to be tweaked quite a bit to grab his attention.
She didn't care much for his reasons of hurting others or if he had suffered for it already, she would do what she wanted to make sure that every last tear spent over him was repaid with every drop of his blood that left his body when she was done. Though it did accrue to her, would he put up a fight? By the looks of things, he wouldn't even stop her or be surprised even. That was no fun, looks like toying with him a bit would stir more in him. It was all determined on him taking the bait she was offering, but the bait would have to be tweaked quite a bit to grab his attention.
Loran planned on taking another drink before looking for a different bar to drink in... He wanted to rip off the heads of all the people responsible for Lilith's death, including himself, but he felt so powerless. He hasn't been able to stop feeling that way for those past three months. Maybe he should just take some time away from the bars and work to just sleep and think a while. He had put all of the pictures on his walls and desks face down. Looking at them was just too painful, knowing that he couldn't protect anyone was killing him, but he was just so scared to die.
He didn't want to face them... See their disappointed faces looking down on him.
His thoughts were interrupted by a sweet voice, Loran's head tilting against his hand at the suggestion. He didn't quite like the taste of vodka... but whiskey didn't sound too bad. He nodded subtly, the blankness in his eyes never leaving while he was sitting at this counter. "... Sure. Thanks." He said flatly before nodding to Jimmy. Guess he wasn't going home just yet.
Jimmy slid the mug across to Loran as he took the empty mugs around him with a shake of his head. Loran didn't care anymore... He took a gulp, still nothing, but maybe it just needed some more time. Loran would've been content with just drinking, but with the look that Jimmy was giving him, his being silent wasn't going to cut it tonight. With a sigh, Loran turned his gaze towards the girl, giving her a quick once over before looking back down at his drink.
"So what's a girl like you doing in a place like this in the middle of the night. No one to go home to?" He murmured, only to get a flick to the forehead from Jimmy. He growled, glaring at the bartender before returning to his drink bitterly. Usually, he was more charming... But now he didn't really feel like putting on a mask.
He didn't want to face them... See their disappointed faces looking down on him.
His thoughts were interrupted by a sweet voice, Loran's head tilting against his hand at the suggestion. He didn't quite like the taste of vodka... but whiskey didn't sound too bad. He nodded subtly, the blankness in his eyes never leaving while he was sitting at this counter. "... Sure. Thanks." He said flatly before nodding to Jimmy. Guess he wasn't going home just yet.
Jimmy slid the mug across to Loran as he took the empty mugs around him with a shake of his head. Loran didn't care anymore... He took a gulp, still nothing, but maybe it just needed some more time. Loran would've been content with just drinking, but with the look that Jimmy was giving him, his being silent wasn't going to cut it tonight. With a sigh, Loran turned his gaze towards the girl, giving her a quick once over before looking back down at his drink.
"So what's a girl like you doing in a place like this in the middle of the night. No one to go home to?" He murmured, only to get a flick to the forehead from Jimmy. He growled, glaring at the bartender before returning to his drink bitterly. Usually, he was more charming... But now he didn't really feel like putting on a mask.
Ana knew she shouldn't have been surprised by his reply to her suggestion, he did look like he was going through his own hell, most people these days were. She was thinking more on what she could say to grab his attention but then he spoke once again but only earning himself a flick on the forehead. "Uh, no. I'm staying at hotel right now until I find a suitable apartment." She said with a gentle smile, it wasn't a total lie, she was at a hotel but had no plans of staying around here.
Looking at how the bartender and this man were old friends, seeing as neither of them seriously looked mad at one another or would hurt the other seriously, even though they weren't so happy with one another. She easily hid her thoughts behind a mask of surprise and mock innocent.
Looking at how the bartender and this man were old friends, seeing as neither of them seriously looked mad at one another or would hurt the other seriously, even though they weren't so happy with one another. She easily hid her thoughts behind a mask of surprise and mock innocent.
Finding apartments in this area probably wasn't the best idea, but if this girl thought that she could handle it, Loran wasn't going to stop her. He knew plenty of capable women. It wasn't hard to find them. And in a place like this, it was expected for them to kind of crowd here. Better safe than sorry, though.
"Well if you can't find a place, just come here. Jimmy lets people stay in the back rooms if they're too wasted or something like that. It's not amazing, but it's better than nothing. Like a cheap, crappy apartment." Loran said, getting another flick to the forehead.
"It's not your place to over my space to strangers." Jimmy huffed, Loran only waving his hand away.
"And I'm around. As long as you're not out for my throat, you can crash at my place any time." Loran said, taking another gulp of his whiskey. He still wasn't getting drunk, and now, he didn't feel like drinking anymore. Talking was nice... He pushed the mug towards Jimmy before leaning back with a sigh, the blankness in his eyes slowly coming back to that faux light that he used to hide his depression.
Taking a breath, he put a hundred dollar bill on the counter. It wasn't even close to covering his tab, but it was a start, and he wasn't going to leave his friend hanging on this kind of payment. Looking down at at the woman, he smiled, running a hand through his rusty red mane. "I'm Loran. Some people like to call me Lin. The tender's Jimmy. So what brings you to this dump?"
Another flick, another wave. This was just how they were.
"Well if you can't find a place, just come here. Jimmy lets people stay in the back rooms if they're too wasted or something like that. It's not amazing, but it's better than nothing. Like a cheap, crappy apartment." Loran said, getting another flick to the forehead.
"It's not your place to over my space to strangers." Jimmy huffed, Loran only waving his hand away.
"And I'm around. As long as you're not out for my throat, you can crash at my place any time." Loran said, taking another gulp of his whiskey. He still wasn't getting drunk, and now, he didn't feel like drinking anymore. Talking was nice... He pushed the mug towards Jimmy before leaning back with a sigh, the blankness in his eyes slowly coming back to that faux light that he used to hide his depression.
Taking a breath, he put a hundred dollar bill on the counter. It wasn't even close to covering his tab, but it was a start, and he wasn't going to leave his friend hanging on this kind of payment. Looking down at at the woman, he smiled, running a hand through his rusty red mane. "I'm Loran. Some people like to call me Lin. The tender's Jimmy. So what brings you to this dump?"
Another flick, another wave. This was just how they were.
Ana watched the seen before her and couldn't help letting out the small giggle, she wasn't prone to laugh very much but she decided that she needed to act sweet and innocent in some way. She listened to what they said and smiled. "Thank you for the offer but I'm sure I'll be able to find an apartment, I just need to save up the money and get a job."
She watched Loran carefully, but doing her best to make it seem like she wasn't paying much attention, taking a sip at her whiskey. She could see that he was relaxing more and actually seemed more interesting in her than his alcohol. She had to keep herself form grinning at seeing this, she hadn't killed another person in too long of time.
"I'm Belle, I don't really have any nicknames besides Bell. It's a pleasure to meet you, Loran." She smiled brightly at him, not minding using her birth name. Even if he were to find the missing child report on her, she didn't look the same as she did then. Her skin then was held a good tan with brown hair and dark eyes, while currently she had pale skin with long black hair and blue contacts covering her red eyes. One of the many perks of this deal she has made,
She watched Loran carefully, but doing her best to make it seem like she wasn't paying much attention, taking a sip at her whiskey. She could see that he was relaxing more and actually seemed more interesting in her than his alcohol. She had to keep herself form grinning at seeing this, she hadn't killed another person in too long of time.
"I'm Belle, I don't really have any nicknames besides Bell. It's a pleasure to meet you, Loran." She smiled brightly at him, not minding using her birth name. Even if he were to find the missing child report on her, she didn't look the same as she did then. Her skin then was held a good tan with brown hair and dark eyes, while currently she had pale skin with long black hair and blue contacts covering her red eyes. One of the many perks of this deal she has made,
Belle. A fitting name. It was good to see someone in a good mood, and even if she didn't answer his question. It wasn't his business anyway. He smiled back at her with a nod, just a glance at Jimmy bringing his bad mood back. Jimmy was grinning in the way that Loran always hated... He knew what he was thinking. Without missing a beat, Loran glared at Jimmy.
"Say it, and I'll break your hand." He growled, just as Jimmy put down the mug he was cleaning and motioned for Loran to lean in.
"But you know what I'm thinking. Lil would want you to move on. What happened to our Heartbreaker?"
Loran's eyes only darkened as he stood in his seat. Quickly and violently grabbing Jimmy's collar. "Stop calling me that. And how the hell would you know what she would want. Just shut up about it!" He snapped, almost pulling Jimmy right over the counter. This had been going on for two months... He couldn't take it anymore. He was just so tired of being told that he had to get over it. ANd he didn't want to believe that his friends were actually telling him to sleep around. He had already been through his reckless stage. All he wanted was a little peace. Some time to forget his losses. And Jimmy's constant badgering wasn't helping.
There was a great amount of tension, but neither of them were backing down. Not until Loran realized just how thick the silence was. He loosened his grip, pulling his hand back, and with a disgruntled grumble, he shoved his hands into his pockets and pulled a fifty out of his pocket. "Keep it..." He said before looking away and taking a quick glance at Belle. Pleasant conversation now seemed far fetched, but he really didn't want to stay here. But he also didn't want to go home just yet. It wasn't his place to bother others with his problems.
"Sorry you had to see that. I'm gonna... I'm gonna take a walk. See ya later, Jim. You have a nice night, Belle." Loran sighed, his honey coloured eyes losing their shine again, his shoulders slumping, and his head low. It wasn't a good night, and it was evident that he could feel the weight of it as he shuffled on out the door. Jimmy shook his head to himself, returning to the mugs and heading over to take the order of other bar patrons.
"Say it, and I'll break your hand." He growled, just as Jimmy put down the mug he was cleaning and motioned for Loran to lean in.
"But you know what I'm thinking. Lil would want you to move on. What happened to our Heartbreaker?"
Loran's eyes only darkened as he stood in his seat. Quickly and violently grabbing Jimmy's collar. "Stop calling me that. And how the hell would you know what she would want. Just shut up about it!" He snapped, almost pulling Jimmy right over the counter. This had been going on for two months... He couldn't take it anymore. He was just so tired of being told that he had to get over it. ANd he didn't want to believe that his friends were actually telling him to sleep around. He had already been through his reckless stage. All he wanted was a little peace. Some time to forget his losses. And Jimmy's constant badgering wasn't helping.
There was a great amount of tension, but neither of them were backing down. Not until Loran realized just how thick the silence was. He loosened his grip, pulling his hand back, and with a disgruntled grumble, he shoved his hands into his pockets and pulled a fifty out of his pocket. "Keep it..." He said before looking away and taking a quick glance at Belle. Pleasant conversation now seemed far fetched, but he really didn't want to stay here. But he also didn't want to go home just yet. It wasn't his place to bother others with his problems.
"Sorry you had to see that. I'm gonna... I'm gonna take a walk. See ya later, Jim. You have a nice night, Belle." Loran sighed, his honey coloured eyes losing their shine again, his shoulders slumping, and his head low. It wasn't a good night, and it was evident that he could feel the weight of it as he shuffled on out the door. Jimmy shook his head to himself, returning to the mugs and heading over to take the order of other bar patrons.
Ana was surprised to see the out burst form Loran, what had Jimmy said to him? Whatever it was, it really ticked him off and now sent him back in to the mood he was when she got here. It really did shock her, most people didn't react like for nothing. She thought of separating the two, hoping to break the tension but Loran had already let go of Jimmy then said he was going to leave.
After he walked out of the front door, it finally hit Ana and she quickly grabbed her things, then went out the door, catching up with him, grabbing on to his wrist. She didn't understand what she was doing now, but that damn feeling of actually wanting to help bubbled in her chest and she knew it would bug at her if she did nothing.
"Loran, I don't know what Jimmy said to you or what has ever happened to you before tonight, but I have a feeling that this isn't an uncommon seen for you two now. I...I just think it would be best for you to try finding someone you trust to talk to about all that has been going on. Keeping whatever you are feeling inside is killing you faster than time is. All wounds will heal, but they'll stretch and bleed out if you don't have someone to help you." She knew she sounded like most in this instant probably, trying to help someone she barely knew.
Damnit all to Hell! I'm a fucking demon for the love of- And what do I do? I listen to what is left of Belle and actually help someone! I'm going soft, but I can't just do nothing! Ana was conflicted with herself but she remained to keep a concerned look on her face, no sign of pity was there, just concern, though she was trying to convince herself that this can't happen again, she'll need to leave this place as soon as possible so that she doesn't get any softer.
After he walked out of the front door, it finally hit Ana and she quickly grabbed her things, then went out the door, catching up with him, grabbing on to his wrist. She didn't understand what she was doing now, but that damn feeling of actually wanting to help bubbled in her chest and she knew it would bug at her if she did nothing.
"Loran, I don't know what Jimmy said to you or what has ever happened to you before tonight, but I have a feeling that this isn't an uncommon seen for you two now. I...I just think it would be best for you to try finding someone you trust to talk to about all that has been going on. Keeping whatever you are feeling inside is killing you faster than time is. All wounds will heal, but they'll stretch and bleed out if you don't have someone to help you." She knew she sounded like most in this instant probably, trying to help someone she barely knew.
Damnit all to Hell! I'm a fucking demon for the love of- And what do I do? I listen to what is left of Belle and actually help someone! I'm going soft, but I can't just do nothing! Ana was conflicted with herself but she remained to keep a concerned look on her face, no sign of pity was there, just concern, though she was trying to convince herself that this can't happen again, she'll need to leave this place as soon as possible so that she doesn't get any softer.
Can't get drunk, his best friend wouldn't stop bugging him, and his head was filled with a self-loathing that burned brightly... If he could, then he would have ended it all himself if he weren't so scared of coming face to face with the very people he let down. He didn't plan on anyone stopping him, so feeling Belle's little hand around his wrist had him shuddering. Looking back at her, he blinked cluelessly. Was... she trying to comfort him? The thought was very sweet, a kind smile appearing on his face as he turned to face her.
Gently, he set his free hand atop her head, patting her affectionately as his thanks for her concern... But... "The only ones I need to talk to aren't around anymore. Thanks, though. It's sweet that you're worrying about a stranger like this." He said, pulling his hand back and waiting for Belle to let go of him. Prying her off would be rude. "Maybe I'm not the kind of person you wanna be comforting. I'm not exactly the... safest of people to be around." He chuckled, feigning that look of happiness. This behaviour... The way that she was trying to comfort him made him remember Lilian even better. Lil never pried unless he was being self-destructive. And she always knew how to make him smile again. How he missed her... And it was his fault that she was gone now.
Gently, he set his free hand atop her head, patting her affectionately as his thanks for her concern... But... "The only ones I need to talk to aren't around anymore. Thanks, though. It's sweet that you're worrying about a stranger like this." He said, pulling his hand back and waiting for Belle to let go of him. Prying her off would be rude. "Maybe I'm not the kind of person you wanna be comforting. I'm not exactly the... safest of people to be around." He chuckled, feigning that look of happiness. This behaviour... The way that she was trying to comfort him made him remember Lilian even better. Lil never pried unless he was being self-destructive. And she always knew how to make him smile again. How he missed her... And it was his fault that she was gone now.
Ana frowned at him patting her head, not quite pleased with the sign of gratitude. She shook her head at his last statement, thinking the same could go for her but held that back.
"We all lose people we love, but do we need to suffer alone? Do you really think hurting yourself like this will make anyone happy?!" Her grip on his wrist tighten, she was growing more annoyed with how he seem to want to suffer.
"You are acting like you are completely lost all the time and do you ever stop to think how it affects the ones who are still here? Who still care about you? Everyone in this world is dangerous, physically capable of breaking everyone near them to shreds of life and pushing them to insanity. If we don't have trust, what would be left?! Pain will come and it will pass but you are just opening the wounds like a kid, constantly making them bleed with every thought of what happened. Are you really going to continue like this? Destroying who you could have been? Or who you once were?" She was trying to keep her voice leveled, but she was trying to get it through his thick head that he was only hurting himself and those who still cared about him.
She let out a sigh and released his wrist. "I'm just trying to help you, I don't want to see another person completely destroy them self because of the past." She looked down at the ground as she spoke then turned on her heel, heading back to the bar so she could pay for her drink.
"We all lose people we love, but do we need to suffer alone? Do you really think hurting yourself like this will make anyone happy?!" Her grip on his wrist tighten, she was growing more annoyed with how he seem to want to suffer.
"You are acting like you are completely lost all the time and do you ever stop to think how it affects the ones who are still here? Who still care about you? Everyone in this world is dangerous, physically capable of breaking everyone near them to shreds of life and pushing them to insanity. If we don't have trust, what would be left?! Pain will come and it will pass but you are just opening the wounds like a kid, constantly making them bleed with every thought of what happened. Are you really going to continue like this? Destroying who you could have been? Or who you once were?" She was trying to keep her voice leveled, but she was trying to get it through his thick head that he was only hurting himself and those who still cared about him.
She let out a sigh and released his wrist. "I'm just trying to help you, I don't want to see another person completely destroy them self because of the past." She looked down at the ground as she spoke then turned on her heel, heading back to the bar so she could pay for her drink.
What a strange girl... Loran listened to her every word, but it didn't change his mind. He missed Lilian with all his heart, and this hadn't been the first time that it was his fault that someone he cared about was gone. There were plenty of people out there who wouldn't miss him, and plenty of people who were use to losing the ones that they loved... But that didn't lessen the pain. Puling himself together wasn't going to change the fact that he was losing everything.
"Ha... You sound just like her." He sighed softly, looking down at Belle and waiting for her to let go of him. Why did she care, anyway? He didn't deserve all this kindness, and it only made her miss his little Lil even more. "Hey Belle, thanks. But that idealist way of thinking... I can't really pick up on it. Sorry. You tried so hard for me. Least I can do is pay for your drink. Here... And tell Jim I'm sorry, wouldja?" He said, handing Belle a twenty before shoving his finally free hands into his pockets and walking up the street.
He couldn't help but think back to his past now. He had known Lilian since he was in high school. At the time, she was just a face in the background. Just another girl as he did what any other asshole would. Drinking, smoking at a young age, sleeping around as soon as he was fifteen, cheating on everything, stealing, fighting. He was the equivalent of a street thug. The death of his brother was the first to change him, making him more careful, less open. And then it was her, his precious Lilian, who made him who he was. Made him care about people again. Made him less scared to get close to others. At least, until she died too. His thumb ran over the ring that hung from the chain around his neck again. He felt drawn to that girl, though... Something in the back of his head told him to take advantage of her kindness. She reminded him of Lilian... Maybe she could take his mind off this crap for a night... At least that was what he thought, and he hated himself more the second the thought crossed his mind.
Destroy the person he was... If only he could. Then maybe he could become someone better. Someone who didn't have to pretend that he was someone noble when really, he was just scared. "And I thought I was done being an asshole." He chuckled to himself as he shuffled into the closest alley. He needed a minute. Somewhere quiet to think. He wasn't in the safest of places, but at the very least, if he got into a fight, then maybe that could help him lose some of this frustration.
"Ha... You sound just like her." He sighed softly, looking down at Belle and waiting for her to let go of him. Why did she care, anyway? He didn't deserve all this kindness, and it only made her miss his little Lil even more. "Hey Belle, thanks. But that idealist way of thinking... I can't really pick up on it. Sorry. You tried so hard for me. Least I can do is pay for your drink. Here... And tell Jim I'm sorry, wouldja?" He said, handing Belle a twenty before shoving his finally free hands into his pockets and walking up the street.
He couldn't help but think back to his past now. He had known Lilian since he was in high school. At the time, she was just a face in the background. Just another girl as he did what any other asshole would. Drinking, smoking at a young age, sleeping around as soon as he was fifteen, cheating on everything, stealing, fighting. He was the equivalent of a street thug. The death of his brother was the first to change him, making him more careful, less open. And then it was her, his precious Lilian, who made him who he was. Made him care about people again. Made him less scared to get close to others. At least, until she died too. His thumb ran over the ring that hung from the chain around his neck again. He felt drawn to that girl, though... Something in the back of his head told him to take advantage of her kindness. She reminded him of Lilian... Maybe she could take his mind off this crap for a night... At least that was what he thought, and he hated himself more the second the thought crossed his mind.
Destroy the person he was... If only he could. Then maybe he could become someone better. Someone who didn't have to pretend that he was someone noble when really, he was just scared. "And I thought I was done being an asshole." He chuckled to himself as he shuffled into the closest alley. He needed a minute. Somewhere quiet to think. He wasn't in the safest of places, but at the very least, if he got into a fight, then maybe that could help him lose some of this frustration.
Ha...You're just like her.
Those words played over in Ana's mind, why couldn't she get them out? She wasn't like anyone else, she was herself. She was cold. She was cruel. She was a ruthless killer. She hurt those who had fun hurting others. She did everything she could to close herself off. She broke herself apart and made new pieces. She wasn't soft. She wasn't weak. She wasn't kind.
And yet, she still had that same damn feeling of wanting to help. That same cursed want to fix someone else to feel better herself. Belle had died, or at least Ana kept telling herself that Belle was gone. That sweet, kind, and innocent girl had been gone for so long, why was she wanting to try and ruin it all now? "It doesn't make sense. Why now? Just because I said her name?"
Ana stopped seeing herself as one person, the day she became Anastasia Jackson, she swore the Belle McNeillia had died and no one would ever find her. But now she decided to come back? It really annoyed and confused Ana. She took a deep breath, calming her swirling thoughts as she walked back into the bar. She forced a smile at Jimmy and gave him a twenty, but one that she had earned, the one Loran gave her remained in her pocket. "Loran told me to tell you that he is sorry." She said quietly.
Those words played over in Ana's mind, why couldn't she get them out? She wasn't like anyone else, she was herself. She was cold. She was cruel. She was a ruthless killer. She hurt those who had fun hurting others. She did everything she could to close herself off. She broke herself apart and made new pieces. She wasn't soft. She wasn't weak. She wasn't kind.
And yet, she still had that same damn feeling of wanting to help. That same cursed want to fix someone else to feel better herself. Belle had died, or at least Ana kept telling herself that Belle was gone. That sweet, kind, and innocent girl had been gone for so long, why was she wanting to try and ruin it all now? "It doesn't make sense. Why now? Just because I said her name?"
Ana stopped seeing herself as one person, the day she became Anastasia Jackson, she swore the Belle McNeillia had died and no one would ever find her. But now she decided to come back? It really annoyed and confused Ana. She took a deep breath, calming her swirling thoughts as she walked back into the bar. She forced a smile at Jimmy and gave him a twenty, but one that she had earned, the one Loran gave her remained in her pocket. "Loran told me to tell you that he is sorry." She said quietly.
Jimmy polished away at the mugs, sliding beers to those at the bar, or whatever other alcoholic drink they wanted. An occasional sandwich. He didn't seem disturbed by Loran's outburst. It was just how he was. It was like this when he lost his brother too, but back then, he got over it in a week and was back to partying. Or at least it seemed that way. Jimmy turned his head towards Belle when she returned and smiled as she slid a twenty to him, a chuckle on his lips as he heard her pass on the usual message.
"That guy... A grade A idiot." Jimmy said as he took the twenty and give Belle whatever change was left after paying for her drink. "Don't worry so much about him. He gets like this whenever he thinks back on the people he's let down. He'll snap himself out of it soon, I'm sure." He said in his denial. He wanted his buddy back. Even if it meant that he had to make Loran revert back to his high school persona to get him back. Though, this was the first time he had ever really been in love with someone like that. It was like he and his girlfriend were meant for each other, her making him a better person by the second just by being at his side, while he did everything he could just to make her smile. This was a thing that never happened before and Jimmy didn't know how to console the guy. He never had a friend who had a steady girlfriend who wasn't also a thug. It was... confusing.
"He's the one that gave you the money, didn't he. I swear... He's dumb when he's depressed." He sighed, pouring another drink for the boozer who was yelling at him from the other side of the bar. "So are you sticking around, Belle?"
"That guy... A grade A idiot." Jimmy said as he took the twenty and give Belle whatever change was left after paying for her drink. "Don't worry so much about him. He gets like this whenever he thinks back on the people he's let down. He'll snap himself out of it soon, I'm sure." He said in his denial. He wanted his buddy back. Even if it meant that he had to make Loran revert back to his high school persona to get him back. Though, this was the first time he had ever really been in love with someone like that. It was like he and his girlfriend were meant for each other, her making him a better person by the second just by being at his side, while he did everything he could just to make her smile. This was a thing that never happened before and Jimmy didn't know how to console the guy. He never had a friend who had a steady girlfriend who wasn't also a thug. It was... confusing.
"He's the one that gave you the money, didn't he. I swear... He's dumb when he's depressed." He sighed, pouring another drink for the boozer who was yelling at him from the other side of the bar. "So are you sticking around, Belle?"
Ana let out a sigh and nodded at what Jimmy said about Loran. "I hope you're right, last time I saw someone like this, it didn't end well and I'll leave it at that. I tried giving him some advice, but I'm sure he has heard it all before and it did nothing to change his mind. He did say something about me being like another girl, by the sound of it, it was someone he cared a lot for. Do you know what he might have been getting at?" She didn't know why, but she wanted to know what to think about that.
She shook her head. "Probably not, it isn't anything to do with Loran, but I think I might not be cut out for this place and my parents are probably dying to see me." She said, messing with the end of her braid absentmindedly, more like nervously. She knew that she was lying through her teeth, hoping it did sounded right. Her expression remained calm but the look of concern was in her contact covered eyes. She planned on disappearing in a week, she was tired out and needed to get a bit more money so that she can afford to disappear some place far away, hoping that she could erase the memories of tonight.
She shook her head. "Probably not, it isn't anything to do with Loran, but I think I might not be cut out for this place and my parents are probably dying to see me." She said, messing with the end of her braid absentmindedly, more like nervously. She knew that she was lying through her teeth, hoping it did sounded right. Her expression remained calm but the look of concern was in her contact covered eyes. She planned on disappearing in a week, she was tired out and needed to get a bit more money so that she can afford to disappear some place far away, hoping that she could erase the memories of tonight.
Jimmy smiled softly at what Belle told him. "You probably just said something that reminded him of his ex." He said, a pained smile on his face. He knew how much Lilian meant to Loran. Knowing that guy, no girl in the world could come close to being his Lilian, but it wasn't surprising that Loran would grasp at straws to try to keep hold on his image of her. Belle didn't look anything like Lilian, didn't really sound like her, even the air around them was different. Loran really must have been lonely.
"He had a girlfriend, real pretty girl. Stubborn, but lady-like somehow. She died three months ago, and has been the only thing on his mind since." Jimmy explained, deciding to neglect a few little details. This girl didn't need to know what happened. She was just a bar patron after all. If she wasn't staying, then the chance he would see her again was slim to none. He just smiled, happy to see that even strangers were worried for Loran, but no matter who worried, it wasn't going to fix anything... And Jimmy was sure of that. Loran wasn't going to change for just anyone.
Meanwhile, only three buildings down in an alley not far from the bar, Loran was locked in a fight with some muggers, or bullies... Whoever they were. They were all dressed up in all black, some little boy laying on the floor, bruised and bloody just behind Loran. There was plenty of cussing, a lot of grunting and pushing as Loran tried fend them off and away from this defenceless kid. Not five minutes, and Loran stumbled on this little fight, and he wasn't going to just walk on by on his merry way. Besides, this was just what he needed right now, a good fight to feed the fire in him. All these thugs looked to be in high school, but that didn't matter. Loran drove them off after one got a good slug in the chest from his left hand. A loud, pained yell from the boy was all it took, and the others were gone, leaving their friend on the floor, clutching his undoubtedly throbbing chest and the bruise that was sure to form.
"Don't mess with people on my turf again, or it'll be worse than that." Loran growled darkly before looking over at the boy who was on the floor. Kid looked young. Maybe sixteen. And he was unconscious now. Stuff like this happened way too often... But he couldn't go back to Jimmy's. Well, he could, but he didn't want to show his face there. But this kid needed help... "... Damn it... Fine.." He grumbled, hoisting the unconscious kid onto his back. He wasn't going to help the kid that dared to prey on someone who wasn't fighting back. Besides, he didn't hit him hard enough to kill him. Loran knew the meaning of restraint. Even if it was only in a fight. Looks like he was going to have to head back towards Jimmy's place anyway. Great...
"He had a girlfriend, real pretty girl. Stubborn, but lady-like somehow. She died three months ago, and has been the only thing on his mind since." Jimmy explained, deciding to neglect a few little details. This girl didn't need to know what happened. She was just a bar patron after all. If she wasn't staying, then the chance he would see her again was slim to none. He just smiled, happy to see that even strangers were worried for Loran, but no matter who worried, it wasn't going to fix anything... And Jimmy was sure of that. Loran wasn't going to change for just anyone.
Meanwhile, only three buildings down in an alley not far from the bar, Loran was locked in a fight with some muggers, or bullies... Whoever they were. They were all dressed up in all black, some little boy laying on the floor, bruised and bloody just behind Loran. There was plenty of cussing, a lot of grunting and pushing as Loran tried fend them off and away from this defenceless kid. Not five minutes, and Loran stumbled on this little fight, and he wasn't going to just walk on by on his merry way. Besides, this was just what he needed right now, a good fight to feed the fire in him. All these thugs looked to be in high school, but that didn't matter. Loran drove them off after one got a good slug in the chest from his left hand. A loud, pained yell from the boy was all it took, and the others were gone, leaving their friend on the floor, clutching his undoubtedly throbbing chest and the bruise that was sure to form.
"Don't mess with people on my turf again, or it'll be worse than that." Loran growled darkly before looking over at the boy who was on the floor. Kid looked young. Maybe sixteen. And he was unconscious now. Stuff like this happened way too often... But he couldn't go back to Jimmy's. Well, he could, but he didn't want to show his face there. But this kid needed help... "... Damn it... Fine.." He grumbled, hoisting the unconscious kid onto his back. He wasn't going to help the kid that dared to prey on someone who wasn't fighting back. Besides, he didn't hit him hard enough to kill him. Loran knew the meaning of restraint. Even if it was only in a fight. Looks like he was going to have to head back towards Jimmy's place anyway. Great...
Ana wasn't really surprised to hear this, probably because even though Ana was who everyone was seeing, it was always Belle that got noticed for her kindness. "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, I can understand why he would be upset." She said, actually sounding sad for once in a long time for her. She knew that pain but it was more of being left by the one she loved, rather than him dying on her. "Well, I best be going. It was good meeting you and Loran." She wasn't going to add that their paths might cross again, she doubted that they would.
So many memories were hitting her again, like Belle wanted back but Ana wouldn't let her. Get a hold of yourself! Do you not remember the pain of being abandoned? Thrown away like trash because you weren't new?! She was holding back a growl at Belle as she walked out of the bar and into the cold air of the night. She hoped that she would be able to leave sooner, at this rate, Belle will come back and Ana will be nothing but a memory. She knew that she couldn't be both Ana and Belle because both girls, were not the same person.
So many memories were hitting her again, like Belle wanted back but Ana wouldn't let her. Get a hold of yourself! Do you not remember the pain of being abandoned? Thrown away like trash because you weren't new?! She was holding back a growl at Belle as she walked out of the bar and into the cold air of the night. She hoped that she would be able to leave sooner, at this rate, Belle will come back and Ana will be nothing but a memory. She knew that she couldn't be both Ana and Belle because both girls, were not the same person.
Loran didn't realize just how badly he had been hurt in that fight. Those kids had knives and bats, and he was bare handed as he fought. His body couldn't take too much while he was in this state, and it finally felt like the alcohol was taking effect. Good fucking time for that to happen... He stopped at Jimmy's back door, setting the kid down to sit against the wall before pulling out his phone to text Jimmy. He let Jimmy know that there was someone that needed help at his back door and to patch him up and let him sleep a while, and was out of the way before he could be caught arguing with Jimmy again about dating again. He didn't want another girlfriend... He wanted to go back in time. Destroy the person he was.
He scurried away, but didn't make it very far before he realized what damage had been done to his body. His side was pretty badly bashed in from the bats, and his head was pounding from getting punched one too many times in the head by some teens. His shoulder was bleeding, and his clothes were all dusty now. Now probably was the best time to be going home, but he still didn't want to walk into that empty apartment... Damn it... In his condition, he was going to get harassed on his way home for sure. Wounded, he was an easy target for real thugs. Didn't matter what his reputation was, not if he could be taken down by someone who could claim it.
Angry at himself, he stumbled out to the street anyway. Best way to get through this faster was to just get it over with. No sense in laying in an alley waiting for the trouble to find him. Surprisingly, though... He bumped into a familiar face. Belle, looking a little pained as well. Normally, he would have asked what was wrong, but he wasn't in a condition to be trying to comfort others. But... Maybe...
"Fancy running into you again so soon... Could I ask a favour?" He asked quietly, pulling a smile on his face even as his left hand grasped his bleeding shoulder with a strong grip. "I need an escort."
He scurried away, but didn't make it very far before he realized what damage had been done to his body. His side was pretty badly bashed in from the bats, and his head was pounding from getting punched one too many times in the head by some teens. His shoulder was bleeding, and his clothes were all dusty now. Now probably was the best time to be going home, but he still didn't want to walk into that empty apartment... Damn it... In his condition, he was going to get harassed on his way home for sure. Wounded, he was an easy target for real thugs. Didn't matter what his reputation was, not if he could be taken down by someone who could claim it.
Angry at himself, he stumbled out to the street anyway. Best way to get through this faster was to just get it over with. No sense in laying in an alley waiting for the trouble to find him. Surprisingly, though... He bumped into a familiar face. Belle, looking a little pained as well. Normally, he would have asked what was wrong, but he wasn't in a condition to be trying to comfort others. But... Maybe...
"Fancy running into you again so soon... Could I ask a favour?" He asked quietly, pulling a smile on his face even as his left hand grasped his bleeding shoulder with a strong grip. "I need an escort."
Ana couldn't get those memories to leave her alone. The regret was settling in and she swore the day she left that she would never regret anything that she had done. She stopped pushing it away and really looked back on what had happened. It seemed more childish and reckless to her now about why she became this way. Tyler had wanted to just sleep around and she wouldn't have been surprised if he had cheated on her.
As the night began to grow darker, she removed her contacts, finally getting annoyed with wearing them. She didn't hate them, just they were hard to keep form falling out of place. She had expect to just simply walk back to her little site for the night so who would care if she had bright red eyes now? She won't be in this part of town anymore anyways.
Ana had realized her mistake when she was bumped into by a wounded Loran. "What the hell happened to you?! I think it would be better to take you to the hospital." She decided that in this situation, it was best to just given for the moment, to just let Ana slip away for a bit while Belle took control. Concern once again filled her now crimson eyes. She reached out to help Loran stand properly, to remove a little weight off his feet.
As the night began to grow darker, she removed her contacts, finally getting annoyed with wearing them. She didn't hate them, just they were hard to keep form falling out of place. She had expect to just simply walk back to her little site for the night so who would care if she had bright red eyes now? She won't be in this part of town anymore anyways.
Ana had realized her mistake when she was bumped into by a wounded Loran. "What the hell happened to you?! I think it would be better to take you to the hospital." She decided that in this situation, it was best to just given for the moment, to just let Ana slip away for a bit while Belle took control. Concern once again filled her now crimson eyes. She reached out to help Loran stand properly, to remove a little weight off his feet.